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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3391
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Did she want me? What did she want? We have two children in

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Did she want me? What did she want?
We have two children in February last year we had an argument which ended in a break, when moving back in, I found her engagement ring with my things that she'd packed for me before the break
Fast forward to September I'd had a heated few words with her mother and she didn't speak to me for three days so I decided enough was enough, moved out
I wanted us to work so I said the next day is this what you want, she said not really but I suppose we will have to go for it now, so I said hold of on the child maintenance give your self a month I'll see you right financially, within a week id had a letter with all my faults my works faults my parents faults on it, staging she didn't want to be with me any more
I got upset and told her I moved out because I loved her and we'd had children and I wanted to sort it out
She apologised for feeling this way and for hurting me,
I came to the conclusion that night that if she didn't fine it was for the best and she was well within her rights to say how she felt and move on with her life
But if she did then it was clearly a game and that that was no relationship to bring two children up in, and that i could set a better example to my children with somebody else,
Bear in mind whilst in the relationship I couldn't do anything right from loading the dish washer to the washing machine and hanging the washing out let alone talking me down in front of the children, the hours I worked were also an issue,
Fast forward a few weeks I'm trying to get on with my life I go home after a night out with a girl I know
Word gets round and my ex understands after asking me asked if I did it to get back at her (not the case at all) as I was under the impression she didn't want me so it's time to move on,
I'd even moved into some where permanent so I could have the children weekends,
Then she got angry and started saying it had been going on since before we split up, hen a week later asked if we could forget everything and get back together, I followed my gut instict in that things I didn't think would ever be right as there was always an issue somewhere shed told me she didn't want me and that incouldset a better example with somebody else,
Fast forward to now I'm with a great girl who adores my children fully supportive of everything I do, but I can't seem to wipe my hands of this situation, not a day goes by that it doesn't bug me
Was she just a game player
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 11 months ago.

I think it is hard to let go easily when you share children and a love with a woman, but that doesn't mean the relationship is right for either one of you. The love may have been there but that doesn't mean the fit is right. Do I think she was playing games? I don't think that..I think she gave what she was capable of and may have been uncomfortable in her own skin and that is why she was so hard on you for most things..many people find fault in others when they do not feel great within themselves. So, while I know it is hard to fully move on, but it sounds like you are in a good place with yourself and with this new woman. Know that the love was there, but that the fit may not have been right to make it work long-term.

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