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Dr. David
Dr. David, Board Certified MD
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 42843
Experience:  Board Certified Physician
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My mother in law and myself have had problems. i once argued

Customer Question

Hey
My mother in law and myself have had problems. i once argued with her and said sorry she forgave me but i packed my bags as i thought i can go away for a bit to give everyone piece of mind and she was angry. she called my mum and dad, they came over and argued with her saying fair enough our daughter done wrong, but this is your family problem and sort it out between yourselves.
But my mum was upset with the nasty things my mother in law said about me she claimed i was unhappy. her daughter sent me a rude text, she came over but i just said hello and didn't speak to her and i got the blame even though she didn't speak to me. my mother in law called me immature and my mum delusional i was really hurt.
i know i hurt her as well but she was just so nasty. My dad had a operation recently and she wanted to go and see him i wasn't comfortable but we went anyway. She was in a rush to l;eave then when we left she said her daughter is coming over as if she didn't know about it although my husband and i knew it was planned.
she really hurt my husband as well she text her daughter saying he had to pay the price for my behaviour.
she humiliated him in front of my parents. she has been too nice to us now but i still cant forgive her. my husband and i want to move out.
i need help on how to stop thinking about this incident?
please can you advise me.
thanks
jas
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. David replied 3 months ago.

This is Dr David

if you are married and living with your mother in law, you and your husband would be best to move out.

it sounds like you need your own space and to start your lives on your own terms.

this can be expensive and perhaps you don't have the funds at this point to move out.

often times, mothers feel threatened when their sons get married as this becomes a new women in their lives and they sometimes can feel that they are going to loose their son.

I'm not saying this to excuse any of her actions.

it sounds like your mother in law acts very immaturely.

it sounds like the best thing is to try go ignore her as much as possible, until you and your husband are able to find your own place.

are you and your husband on the same page on that and working towards moving out of the house and finding your own place?

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Hi david
Yes he feels the same i did ask him im
Not putting pressure on him and its his decision but he understands
Expert:  Dr. David replied 3 months ago.

I see.

well, you may have to just tolerate your mother in laws behavior at this point until you and your husband are able to move out of the home.

any idea when that may be?

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
It will be our one year anniversery in november but then after will be xmas and new yr so he was thinkin we should wait till then.
Im just finding it difficult to move on from the arguement.
Expert:  Dr. David replied 3 months ago.

I see.

do you think you would benefit if you could talk to a psychotherapist or counselor about this?

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Im not sure at the moment my husband is my counsellor!
I try to keep myself busy but sometimes i still feel fed up
Expert:  Dr. David replied 3 months ago.

I see.

keep your lines of communication open with your husband.

try to ignore as best as you can his mother in law

keep your eye on the goal of moving out of the home in the future.

let me know if you have other questions.

if done for now, please leave positive rating of 3-5 stars so I can get credit for helping you today

we only get credit for helping clients after positive feedback

you can always reach me directly with "a question for Dr. David" in the medicine or oncology categories if you have other questions

here is my website if you need to reach me:

http://www.justanswer.com/medical/expert-dr-david/

Thanks for using JustAnswers.com

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Thank u and i will do
Expert:  Dr. David replied 3 months ago.

you are welcome

please leave positive rating of 3-5 stars so I can get credit for helping you today

we only get credit for helping clients after positive feedback

do you see the ratings area?

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