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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3491
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I went on a first date with a guy yesterday via an online

Customer Question

Hi, I went on a first date with a guy yesterday via an online dating site. It seemed to go really well, he paid for everything, refused to let me pay for anything, and we went to two different bars after the meal, stayed out til 1.30am even though he had work the next day. This morning he text me to ask if I got home ok, that he meant to text last night but fell asleep. He sent a few more texts today saying he had a good night and has put x's at end of his texts like he did before we met up. He hasn't ask me out again yet, although I know he's at a concert today so will be busy but I'm fretting as I really liked him and we seemed to hit it off. I'm just wondering if the signs were good and if it seems likely that he will ask me out again?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

This sounds fabulous...he has reached out quickly with texts and letting you know that he enjoyed himself. Don't overthink or put too much pressure out there or on yourself. Let things unfold as they already have and it sounds to me like all things point to a great and positive direction.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Let me know how I can support you further.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Wondering if you heard from him again and how things are going.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks. He messaged me today after I asked him how the concert was. He asked me how I was. I told him what I was up to and sent me three messages in a row after that saying about what he was working at today then he ended with a comment about how he wants to go to the place I was going to today and ended with an x. What would you make of that?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I like that he is keeping in touch and I am hoping he takes the next step and suggests that you go out together again. The next few days will indicate that. May I ask both of your ages?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We're both 28. Would it be bad idea for me to say something like "I'll go with you if you'd like?"
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I don't think it is a bad idea...you can simply say...the place is great...would you like to go there together?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Kind of scared to ask in case he turns round and either ignores me or comes up with some reason not to. Part of me is wondering did he say that as a lead in to suggesting we go together or just as a casual remark?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Wait a day or two and see if he reaches out to initiate and if he doesn't and you feel like you desire to take that leap you can say, remember you mentioned the place you wanted to go to? Let's go together. If he doesn't take you up on it, then you know. But he is in contact and if he wasn't interested then I don't think he would be texting frequently. It could be a suggestion that you get together rather than just a casual remark.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Not sure what to reply to that last message. For now should I just say "Yeah its great out there, such a good place for a walk!" But then I worry he'll think I'm shutting him down if I leave it as a closed text. Ahhh the dating game is so confusing!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

lol and yes we can overthink it and worry or we can just do what feels right in our gut and let the chips fall where they may. I am of the mind-set of the latter. I believe in putting it out there..if he is interested he will bit, if not he won't but then it doesn't really matter anyway. You could say, yes, I love that place and it sounds like we should go together...it's cute, it's light and playful.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do you think he's testing to see will I suggest it after his initial message saying he'd like to go? What would your gut tell you?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Yes I do...he may be feeling you out as you are trying to do the same which is why I like the response that I suggested above and if he takes you up on it then great, if he doesn't, that's okay too. Life is worth living and putting your feelings out there.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That's true. I just get so emotionally invested and put so much pressure on myself. Generally do you find a guy won't keep messaging or replying if he doesn't like you? Or are there some guys who will reply just to be polite?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I know you do...I can hear it and as best you can try and breathe and enjoy the process. I believe that if he wasn't interested he would not be making contact and certainly not as much.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I noticed when I left off an x at end of my message to him, he did same thing but I when I put an x he did one again too. Maybe he's as unsure as I am?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

yes you are both feeling the other one out...so it is up to you whether you want to take the risk and respond how we have discussed.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok I've just replied to him and said "It's so nice out there, you should come out!" Avoiding the whole directly asking him thing but hopefully transparent enough that he knows what I'm saying!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

ok sounds great. Keep being open. Let me know how it goes. I am here. Please tale a moment to click on th rating tab to rate my support. Thanks in advance and I am here again if you need.

Jen

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do I have to open up a new chat once I click on the rating tab or does the conversation remain open? Thanks!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

You can come back to this thread. And if you have a new and different thing then you can begin a new question. Without positive ratings, we do not receive any credit for out time and support.

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Thank you very much. Let me know how he responds.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He sent me a selfie last night and asked what I was up to. Is that a good sign? Still hasn't asked me out on the 2nd date though!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

It is great he is keeping in touch but if he doesn't ask you out in a few days, then you will have to evaluate whether you want to ask him if he is interested in getting together again or if he is just looking for friendship.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I bit the bullet and asked if he'd like to do something today. He replied straight away saying he'd love to but he was working (which I know to be true now) and then said he'd like to next weekend. Good outcome?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

So proud of you! Great work and yes good outcome. So now, the ball is in his court..let it play out and you will go from there.

Jen