How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2807
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
64783947
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
TherapistJen is online now

I have a problem. my mind keeps telling me that my

Customer Question

hi. I have a problem. my mind keeps telling me that my relationship isn't right and that I don't even like my girlfriend. at the same time though I know she is so amazing and i love her. we have fought so much though, I think this has added into the situation. I think I have issues with allowing or feeling my love for her because I have been hurt in the past. I'm not sure what to do. I don't feel like I could live like this forever it really wears me down. we have split up a lot of times and i get a huge surge of energy at the start but everytime after a day or two i miss her so much and can only think of how amazing and good for me she is but then as soon as we get back together I feel this heaviness and a sadness set in then all the thoughts of escape start again. I don't want to keep messing her about. I don't know how to deal with this or what to do. if I ask for another break the relationship will definitely be over. am I crazy?! do I actually just dislike her and am obsessed/attached!? or is this just my past pain ruining what life is offering me right now? I feel really stuck at the moment!
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 3 months ago.

Hi. I am sorry to hear that you are going through this and it can be very painful. It is possible that your gut is telling you something that she doesn't feel right for you and that yes you may think she is amazing and you love her, but that little nagging thing inside prevents it from going deeper and more long term. So then why when you break up you miss her and want to be with her? That could be because while you have the surge of energy at the beginning but begin to miss her, that those feelings can be painful and scary and most of us would do what we can to end those feelings and getting back with her ends those painful feelings temporarily. Could this all be due to past hurts? Sure it can..as being deeply connected could bring all those fears of being left and hurt to the surface. So do I think you should end it? Not necessarily, but I do think being open with her around how your painful feelings from the past could be at play and you want to have open communication about them when it comes up and you desire to flee. She may be able to reassure and help you feel safe where you can let go and fully give. Time will tell if you do this and it still doesn't feel right. Then you can decide whether to end it once and for all and sit through those painful days that are normal after any break up, even if desired by you, and come through it feeling strong and happy.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 3 months ago.

Let me know your thoughts and we can chat if you desire.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 3 months ago.

Let me know if I can support you further. If all good for now, please take a moment to click the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks in advance.

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I Couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • TherapistMaryAnn

    TherapistMaryAnn

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    715
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg TherapistMaryAnn's Avatar

    TherapistMaryAnn

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    715
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    389
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    270
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/NP/nphbrown/2012-7-30_24048_ImYrManSerious1.64x64.jpg Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    209
    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/Dietcokeani/2009-08-16_115515_Annette_face_square.jpg Anna's Avatar

    Anna

    Social Worker

    Satisfied Customers:

    203
    29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/drshs/2011-5-8_214848_CIMG1275.64x64.jpg Dr. Shirley Schaye's Avatar

    Dr. Shirley Schaye

    Doctor

    Satisfied Customers:

    166
    PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions