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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3520
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I have a question about how a guy is treating me or am I

Resolved Question:

I have a question about how a guy is treating me or am I over analysing
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Hi, how can I help? Let me know what is going on.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have anxiety and I have a problem with a guy I don't know where I stand with him and yesterday I got so anxious I sent him messages and about my anxiety and how I am feeling. I asked could I talk to him or see him and he hasnt replied once.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Sounds like you did a great job being open about your feelings and trying to chat with him. I am not sure if he is n the same page with how he feels because if he was he would have replied, especially since you were so open about your anxiety. It would be very caring to reach back out and let you know all is okay or that if he wasn't interested at least inform you of that. So, in the mean time take deep breath and focus on you. I would not text again and see if he reaches out to you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am left in limbo because we were intimate and I would never sleep around, we had a connection at least I thought we had! He only told me a few weeks ago by text that he suffered an episode of anxiety and that he is there for me. Clearly not when he seen my messages and didn't reply. I feel rejected and a loser
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel he sees me as someone weak and needy, maybe I came across that way I don't know
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What if he doesn't reply to me? I look like a fool
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Can you help me more on this?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
These are the texts I sent him
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Its going to be at least 4 weeks before I am back at work.
I feel I have done something wrong.
I am so upset.
Sorry for all the texts, my anxiety has just taken over me the last few days and today is the worst. Im so frustrated scared and don't feel like me at all. I feel weak, over sensitive, ashamed, no confidence judged. I hope you understand you probably never will. Sorry again ��
Do you want to meet up ? and I can explain face to face as obviously I am going the wrong way by the texts
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I am sorry for the delay. I have had some difficulty getting into the site. If there is a delay in my responses, just know that I will reply when I can get back in.

I understand your anxiety and I have read what you wrote to him...give him some space. Nothing to feel like a fool about...I am impressed you can express yourself and if he isn't able to respond to it, then it has more to do with whom he is rather than you. So, sit tight and see if he reaches back out and if not, hold your head up high and begin to move forward. I would also think about getting yourself some support...a therapist to look at this anxiety so you can live a bit freer from these painful feelings that grip you.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

And he may also have been looking for different things than you were and after intimacy he was ready to move on. Sad if that is the case, but again try not to personalize it all and keep your head held high and get yourself support so you can move forward.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the advice. I actually thought he was different I actually thought he would have comforted me. I see that is definitely me because he is online chatting to other people
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel so alone sad. How can someone do this?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Just because he is chatting with others doesn't mean it is you...it just helps you see whom he is and what he is looking for and it appears that it just may be sex. Your feelings are normal and they will ease in time. There are many that behave like this and you must not personalize it. Feel your feelings and they will ease...find some other things and people whom you enjoy and immerse yourself with all of that.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Its very hard to come to terms with not only that I work with him and have to see him every day when I go back to work
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I just can't get out of my head I made things worse and maybe I shouldn't had text him all of the above he also told me that he never judges others!!!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I know it is easy to second guess your actions, but rather than feel silly about it, try and feel proud that you were able to put our your feelings and if he can't respond to that in a caring way, that has more to say about him than you. Go to work with your head up and let things fall into place as they will.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I am here again in the future if you need me. Please take a moment to click the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks so very much.

Jen

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