Thanks for being so open about it all. This is brand new information so it has taken you by surprise so I am glad you are not quickly running out the door as you are smart to realize this would be reactive. I think we both know how hard it was for him to open up and tell you about it and I applaud him for taking that risk with you. Tell me more about it making you sick to your stomach? I do think you can both move forward with all of this if you keep talking about things and expressing all of your feelings as well. 10 years ago is a long time and many people have sexual histories that can be difficult to know about and many people don't share it and then it can feel even more difficult to learn about. I am glad you are not running from this. Give yourself and him time to sit with it all, process it and process it together. Tell him all you feel about it, what your fears are and even that it turns your stomach..being open about it will make it all less scary and hopefully you can move forward and feel okay about him and with him.
I hear and understand all of what you are feeling and by not talking about it with him you are crushing yourself and the relationship. Your worry about crushing him, I get, but I think you hurt yourself more by not being verbal about your feelings. Keeping it all in will only have your mind go wild with imagining things. And it is quite possible that he enjoyed that type of intimacy back then but no longer does...if we can look at things in a more fluid way that might help you. Things aren't always fixed and can change over time. Does that mean he will desire a man again? Not sure, there is no way to predict but whether a man or a woman, nobody is ever fully protected against someone being unfaithful. If he brought this up now, why would he need to lie? Talking to him and putting all of your fears and worries on the table will allow further discussion and reassurance. It is okay you are feeling guarded now...that is a normal reaction. Think more about what you need now around this and worry less about crushing him...being open and gentle with your feelings isn't crushing..it is a healthy way to work through a very difficult space. You get to tell him your worries, you get to ask him if he has the desire...all of it. Give yourself that chance.
I hear you and I am so sorry you are going through all this. How about we just give yourself some time to sit with it and let it work its way through your system. Your world has changed with this information and it is a lot to handle. If you are not ready to talk to him about all of your feelings that is okay...let's just breathe and take it slow. You don't need to make any decisions now one way or the other. Does that feel okay for you?
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I am proud of your willingness...it shows your strength and love. Give yourself and him the time to work through this and start again and hopefully in time the images lessen and you can get back to being thrilled being with your soul mate.
I am here again if you need. If all good for now, please take a moment to click the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks in advance and here for you in the future.
It is my pleasure. Come to me anytime and I wish you both a wonderful life together...keep talking about your feelings. Be well.