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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3392
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Is it appropriate to talk to your ex about your latest break

Resolved Question:

Is it appropriate to talk to your ex about your latest break up
Have been separated 3 years
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

If you and your ex rely on each other than it seems okay to do so...as long as you are both open and comfortable with one another to do so. How is she feeling about it?

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Not entirely comfortable as she feels I'm comparing our 13 year relationship to a 6 month one...
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

And why are you going back to her to discuss it all? Do you have others you can share it with? Even though it is 3 years since you are not together, there may be lingering feelings and that could come into play here.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

And it is not the length of time in a relationship it is the feelings in it and even if your most recent one was shorter does not mean you can't have a lot of feelings such as sadness and loss around it. Comparing the two doesn't help you because they are different in every way.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Because she knows me anives it to me straight
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
I needed to btold I was being ridiculous
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

and that's great if it works for you but it sounds like there are still some unresolved feelings there if she is saying things to you like you can't compare the two...feel what you feel and let it all out and healing will begin.

Ok so you get a lot from the ex and her telling you that you are being ridiculous is helpful, then go for it and rely on her to get you through.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
I am and thank u for your insight
Guess I knew already but it hurts and I needed to know I'm taking the right action in stopping the new relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

trust your gut too. If it doesn't feel right then walk away and begin your healing process.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

Let me know how else I can support you. If all good for now, please click on the stars to rate my support. Thanks so much in advance.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Thanks Jen I am
And its started the healing process
Just didn't want to hurt my ex who is still feeling some emotional connection to me still
It will probably resolve the two of us and we will become good friends
Thank u for u help
Have a good day x
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

Yes and that its what I was saying that she is feeling a lot of emotion too so go gently and be the great friends that you are and will remain.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 10 months ago.

And I wish you a great day too and if you would click the stars for me, I would appreciate it so that I may receive credit for my support.

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