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This sounds like a lot more than just helping around the house and I can hear a disrespect for what you need. The communication around what you need isn't being heard unless you make a move like leaving to your sister's for a bit. But as you said, it returned to the normal way of things for both of you. Neither of you can make the other doing anything you don't want to do...it comes down to respect and mutuality and that is what needs to be worked on so that these other issues become a part of that respect and mutuality. You have tired talking to him yet it doesn't help...you are exhausted so it comes down to how long you feel like being in the dynamic if things don't change. So ask yourself, if things don't change, do you want to stay.
I can't answer to the legal aspect of selling joint property. I can speak to the relationship side of things and I agree that things aren't likely to change. You worry about his temper if you decide to leave? Safety first always and whatever you decide make sure you have a safety plan in place whether it be with family, the authorities or whatever is needed to keep you safe.
Please care for yourself now....it is okay to do so and keep yourself safe. I wish you well and thank you for the rating. I am here again if you need.