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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3530
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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How can I make my partner work and help around the home. I

Resolved Question:

How can I make my partner work and help around the home. I feel at breaking point as this is a long standing problem.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We have a 18 year old daughter and she lives at home as well and is attending college. Can I make him sell our house as its losing value after 9 years of neglect. It's paid for as well.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

This sounds like a lot more than just helping around the house and I can hear a disrespect for what you need. The communication around what you need isn't being heard unless you make a move like leaving to your sister's for a bit. But as you said, it returned to the normal way of things for both of you. Neither of you can make the other doing anything you don't want to do...it comes down to respect and mutuality and that is what needs to be worked on so that these other issues become a part of that respect and mutuality. You have tired talking to him yet it doesn't help...you are exhausted so it comes down to how long you feel like being in the dynamic if things don't change. So ask yourself, if things don't change, do you want to stay.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have tried so many times but how can I expect him to change if he's getting a work free lifestyle. I have to make plans but feel anxious due to age and finances. Can I make him sell the properly if all else fails. I am nervous of his temper as well.Thank you.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

I can't answer to the legal aspect of selling joint property. I can speak to the relationship side of things and I agree that things aren't likely to change. You worry about his temper if you decide to leave? Safety first always and whatever you decide make sure you have a safety plan in place whether it be with family, the authorities or whatever is needed to keep you safe.

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Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Please care for yourself now....it is okay to do so and keep yourself safe. I wish you well and thank you for the rating. I am here again if you need.