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Hi. It sounds to me that it could be a few things....that he didn't have the feelings for you that his friend said and he was then embarrassed when you said something to him. The other possibility is that he did have those feelings and was still embarrassed when you said something. His back and forth with you indicates to me that after that moment, he just never felt at ease again and that is no fault of yours. we may never know what he truly felt but I do believe the best thing for you to do right now is not contact him, respect those wishes and try to move forward. I know how painful it feels, but for now it is the only option. And giving him this space could also help him to realize that he does want your friendship. so as best you can, move forward and let things play out.
I explained in my first response. There is no way to know what his motivations were but to me it sounds like he was not interested and when his friend said that and you joked about it, it made him uncomfortable and this is how he has chosen to handle it. Buying him drinks and trying to go over it with him when you run into him, angers him further and he doesn't want to discuss it. So it is time to just let it pass, no more drink buying and continue to move forward.
Time to step away from it...the more you talk to mutual friends and it gets back to him the more he feels uncomfortable. Time to let it all go and not engage with him or any of the mutual friends about it.
Because maybe he felt you were coming on too strong and it wasn't comfortable for him. It may not have felt too strong for you, but maybe it was for him. You wanted him to care for you while grieving, but it is possible he just didn't feel like being in that role and it is your opinion that he would have left the bar but maybe he doesn't feel like he needs to alter his life for you. You are defining what he must have felt, but there is no way of truly knowing, but what we do know is that backing off is the only option now and I know it is hard without having all the answers, but pushing will only make things harder for you.
I wish you well on your journey of healing.
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