- Firstly let me thank for you all your sound advice and guidance you have given us over the last few months. This is the partner, by the way. The one with the wife. lol.
As you are aware the MoA has been signed by both parties, with her agents awaiting my lawyer’s Minute for Decree (MfD) to finalise the divorce. Do you know how long I can delay sending the MfD to the court, can I hold off indefinitely whilst I decide how best to deal with my very real concerns over the girls?
Allow me to update you on recent events. Last Friday I had an episode which resulted in me being taken to hospital with a suspected stroke, this happened on the weekend I was due to have my kids. The doctor’s advice was that I should have as restful a weekend as possible. However, their mother still expected me to drive down and collect the girls the following morning. I decided that I was still too unwell to travel and told the girls that I wasn’t able to travel as the risk was too high. This is further example of her utter lunacy and in ability to grasp her responsibilities are regarding the contact
Over the past few years I have evidence that demonstrates her instability. I have headlined them below. I hope they give you a flavour of what I am dealing with.
History of domestic violence against me over 17 years, which was physical for long periods and psychologically/emotional for the entire marriage.
October ‘12 – she threatens suicide. Her mother calls the police, child protection are called as are the Samaritans. A friend of hers who is a nurse recommends that she is sectioned due to her instability.
July ‘13 – Local mother calls me to advise that she has concerns over my eldest stating that she looks so tired and lethargic.
Late ‘13 – My eldest records in her diary that she wants to move to Aberdeen and is deeply unhappy and is in an almost constant state of conflict with her mother.
March ’14 – She uses my kid’s phones to send abusive texts to me. I know that both kids see these texts are they admit to it and my eldest records her hurt in her diary.
July ’14 – She forces both girls to write down my conversations with them to hand to her lawyer. Both girls admit that they were told that this would be used against me.
October ‘14 - Sophie states that she wants to move to Aberdeen to live with us.
Dec ‘14 – She rants down the phone with my 11 yr old sitting next to her regarding a concert my youngest was performing at making claims that I have been persistently calling her when it has been her that has contacted me (despite insisting that all references of direct contact be removed from the MoA)
Dec '14 - After my hospitalisation I was advised not to drive. I spoke directly to the cildren about this and my youngest stated that her mother had said - and I quote - 'This is your father's contact weekend. You are his responsibility. I dont want you here this weekend. You are your father's problem'
Bot***** *****ne is this, I need some leverage over her to try and prevent her from further acts of, what I consider emotional abuse, particularly towards the girls. My question is this, what can i implement that is an effective ‘sword of damocles’ over her? Can the threat of taking her to court over residency as a result of existing and historic abuse, that social services would be called to investigate allegations made by me, that I will seek a child psychologist to interview the girls to determine evidence of abuse and control, that I will cite all instances of control and abuse like the threatened suicide in October 12 and other time lined examples?
What is your advice?