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JGM, Solicitor
Category: Scots Law
Satisfied Customers: 11545
Experience:  30 years as a practising solicitor.
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As a result of an acrimonious divorce my ex-wife has moved

Customer Question

As a result of an acrimonious divorce my ex-wife has moved 200 miles away.
She is making it impossible for me to see my son who is 13 as I am officially (according to her) only allowed to contact him through the 'official phone' which she never acknowledges.
I'm trying not to push too hard as I thought after a few years she might become human but there is no let up.
I spent a fortune on solicitors during the divorce and avoided trying to pin down child access conditions simply because everything was an excuse for her to drag things out and continually push thing back. I'm now in a position where I can't afford to engage lawyers and even travelling to visit my son is money I would struggle to pull together - would appreciate a few pointers in the right direction
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Scots Law
Expert:  F E Smith replied 1 year ago.

How long ago did she move? Please confirm that there is no child arrangement order for contact.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She moved away over 2 years ago.My daughter would have stayed with me after the separation it I was working 4-5 weeks away in Africa at the time.
I have had limited contact with them for the last couple of years although we now regularly message (secretly).
She has tried to drive a wedge between us since I first told her I was seeing someone.
She made a malicious claim that my girlfriend had stalked and harassed her.
The police investigated and brought no charges - she (my ex) did end up in court for harassing my (then pregnant) girlfriend.
We offered mediation. She wanted her day in court and there she had her solicitor lie saying that I had walked out on my wife and family to start a new relationship- the truth being we had been separated for 2 years before I began a relationship and she panicked about losing her meal ticket for life.
Losing my job last year means I can't afford to drive up for a couple of hours contact whenever she deigns to allow it.
She has always used the fake stalking allegations as a means of denying me having the kids at mine. My oldest one is at Uni so she comes here now, but my son has been in my house for a total of 15 minutes - even then he had to run off as his mum was stalking him and messaged to say she knew where he was.
Long story short - no agreement on access because it was a divorce from hell and I just wanted shot of her initially - I figured her control freakery would subside with time....unfortunately not
Expert:  F E Smith replied 1 year ago.

I’m sorry, I’ve just noticed that you are in Scotland. The law is very often different in Scotland so I’m going to opt out for a Scottish expert.

Expert:  JGM replied 1 year ago.

Under Scots law the only way to deal with this is to go back to court. If you can't afford that, you may qualify for legal aid. A contact order that is rigid in its terms may be necessary as your wife clearly has a difficulty in sticking to arrangements. As your son is 13 his wishes have to be taken into account by the court, the court will assign a child welfare hearing and your solicitor will have to be fully appraised of the difficult history to the divorce. The court will take the view that you should bet contact unless there is a very good reason why not. Happy to discuss. I hope that helps. Please leave a positive rating so that I am credited for my time.