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my current situation is that I am on the edge of a divorce, (which actually might be a relief) but not started proceedings yet. If kids spends at least half of the time with me, that might stop them taking it all straight away.
As a part of the settlement, we have a main house and a buy-to-let, so there should be enough equity (350k-ish) in the BTL to pay this tax bill, and have enough left over for a fair chunk of a new house for me. As the debt was incurred when we were a couple, it should be divided between us, so taken into consideration in the settlement, but the HMRC will be asking me,not her. That's more background than a question.
Another question is that I have 70k-ish in a pension, if I took it out, I would have to pay 40% tax, so could only pay £42k. If I wanted to HMRC to take that to pay the bill, could they take it without the tax being deducted, to cover the whole amount?