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Hello, you are through to Dr Linda, a UK based vet with 10 years of clinical experience.
I'm sorry to hear this and understand your concern for Messi.
If he is not neutered, you will see two visible testicles. Is this the case?
Has your female been spayed?
As she has not been spayed, if she is in season, this will be confusing Messi whether he has been neutered or not.
If he was neutered after puberty (about 5-6 months of age), he may still have some of the natural instincts to mate.
If you're not sure he has been neutered, this needs to be confirmed right away.
If his behaviour is stressing her out, keep them separate while she is in heat. If it is an option, she should be neutered when you can. Not only should this improve their relationship, it will reduce the risk of her developing mammary cancer and uterine infections.
Please ignore any call requests, we can talk via typing.
The first step is in ensuring both cats are neutered.
Next, try to tire him out both physically and mentally during the day. This can mean lots of food puzzles, training games, wind up toy chasing, scent games etc.
It may also help to use a Feliway spray or plug in and some natural calming supplements such as Zylkene, to keep him nice and calm.
Sure thing, it should help to settle him down.
At this time of year, cats come in and out of heat very regularly as heat lasts 5-7 days and they can cycle as often as every 3 weeks.
If there is anything else, please do let me know.
Not at all and take care.