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Category: Employment Law
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Experience:  I am a barrister
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My partner has been child minding same family

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My partner has been child minding for the same family for ten years, the children over the last few years have become very argumentative and badly behaved. This has been reported on numerous occasions. There was a flare up please see below. Now today the father turned up and told Karen the children would no longer be coming and that he wanted a meeting to discuss what they were going to do and asked for me to be present. I went to see the father at his office today to discuss why I needed to be present. I was told a slightly different story and that Karen had pushed this 14 year old boy into the house which she didn't. I heard a recording made by the 14 year old sister which was a one way maily of Karen ranting on at Connor. On the recording I heard Karen saying I can spit at who I like. She never spat at Connor but spit may have come out. Connors Father said to me that Karen was right in his face and the same for Allana who I think made the recording. Now as I was told Allana took this to school and played it to the teachers who wanted the Police to get involved so I was told. Please see Karens notes on the incident
1. After I picked Amelia and another child up from school we walked home. When we got home Amelia said she wanted to go to the shop. The children put down their bags and we walked down Wood Street to the local newsagent. As we got to the end of Wood Street my next door neighbours Carmella and Maria came around the corner of Bush Road and Wood Street. Maria asked me jokingly "can you carry me home I can't walk any further." I laughed and said "sorry I can't we're going over to the Sweet Shop". We said our goodbyes and Maria and Carmella continued to walk up Wood Street and the children and I crossed over the road to the shops.
2. I stood outside the newsagents with the other child while Amelia went in to buy sweets.
3. I then saw Connor and Allanna walk along Bush Road and up Wood Street.
4. My neighbour Carmella came up to me while I was standing outside the Newsagent and said to me "do you know there are two rowdy teenagers outside the front of your house?
5. I said "It's ok I know who it is"
6. Carmella said "the boy is putting his head through your window (which was open because it was hot) and shouting "where the f**k is she?!!" Carmella replied "she's at the shops." Connor was in a bad mood before we even met up.
7. When Amelia had finished in the shop we walked back to my house. She told me she had bought some 5p lollies and showed me one which was small, flat and pink.
8. As we were at the bottom of Wood Street Allanna shouted "hurry up!!
9. When I reached the house Connor was sitting on my wall by my front door.
10. I said to both Connor and Allanna together "firstly, don't tell me to hurry up, I will get there when I get there. Secondly don't approach my neighbour shouting "where the f**k is she, you knew I was at the shop".
11. Instead of Connor correcting me calmly by saying "I didn't ask her" so we could discuss it quietly to which I would have apologised for my error, he immediately shouted at me saying "you're a liar, you're talking bullshit, bulshitter, bullshitter (repeatedly). Connor's disrespectfulness to me and bad language really upset me.
12. ***** *****ded Connor a lollipop and Connor put it in his mouth. Because of his rudeness I straight away took it out of his mouth, without force, and said "you're not having that, you don't deserve it with the way you are talking to me." I gave it back to Amelia and she said "what shall I do with it?" I told her to put it back in the bag and give it to Connor later.
13. As soon as I took the lollipop out of Connor's mouth he put his left hand up to his mouth and shouted "you Bitch you've broken my tooth, you f**king Bitch, f**k Off!!" With that he took hold of his school bag and threw it across the front of my house and it landed by my brown bin.
14. After less than a minute Connor was no longer holding his mouth and there was no more mention of his tooth. As we were going inside I did not want to leave Connor's bag outside so I went over to it and picked it up and Connor shouted "leave my f**king bag alone you Bitch". I told Connor "I was picking it up".
15. I opened the front door, pointed to the Dining Room and shouted to Connor "get in there and stay there until your Father get's here" Connor shouted back "f**k Off". My voice was deeper than usual as I had lost my voice earlier in the week and it hadn't recovered.
16. Once all the children had entered the house I shut the door and went straight to the Dining Room. Connor was sitting on the sofa and I was standing up. I was very upset, hurt and angry by the verbal abuse I had just suffered from Connor. I shouted and accidently spat while doing so "don't you ever talk to me like that! I am so angry with you!
17. Connor shouted "you've just spat at me" I said "I will spit at who I want". I was so upset I didn't know what t
What would you like to know about this?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Is the recording admissible as evidence and where do we stand if they decide to prosecute. In my honest opinion I think Karen has been set up here by the children. The recording was taken without permission and played to school friends and maybe teachers. I think that these parents are looking for a compensation claim.
Yes, the recording is admissible in a criminal court.They don’t need permission to make a recording.
There are restrictions under the DPA that cover to whom they can play it back but that doesn't stop them using it as evidence I'm afraid.Is that all you wanted to know?Jo
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Now these people have requested a meeting with Karen and I to discuss what will happen. I said this has been blown out of Proportion to the father today. I clearly heard Karen in a raised voice say I spit at who I want. I did say an apology to Connor from Karen and an apology from Connor to Karen is all that is needed here. Should we attend a meeting and hope to resolve this or will Karen be incriminating herself further
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I had more questionsNow these people have requested a meeting with Karen and I to discuss what will happen. I said this has been blown out of Proportion to the father today. I clearly heard Karen in a raised voice say I spit at who I want. I did say an apology to Connor from Karen and an apology from Connor to Karen is all that is needed here. Should we attend a meeting and hope to resolve this or will Karen be incriminating herself further
Thank you.You have left a negative rating.I will not be able to continue this unless that was a mistake.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Jo I thought I could get my questions answered, I hadn't finished. How many questions do I get for my £42 ? I thought it was until I had a satisfactory answer.RegardsJohn
I will be happy to deal with free follow ups However you have left a negative rating and if that was deliberate rather than an accident then I cannot continue.
Remus2004 and other Employment Law Specialists are ready to help you
Just out of interest, why are you involved in this? I really hope you are not placing yourself at risk. This is her problem for her to sort out.
Hi. You can respond on here?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Karen is my Partner, the family in question have been like friends to us both. The father requested to Karen this morning a meeting with us both. I phoned him to ask why I needed to be present. He said he didn't want Karen to feel intimidated on her own. He asked if I would pop in to see him this morning, I did we spoke very amicably and he played the recording and said the school had now been involved as Alanna had played it to her Teachers and friends. It was very incriminating for Karen but it was a one sided recording with none of the verbal abuse from Connor on it. I get the impression they want to claim some form of Compensation. I said I hoped that Karen would be able to say her side of the story and perhaps the apology should be both ways. Karen never spat at the boy as the recording clearly implies but saliva may have hit him when she was shouting at him.
Oh yes, I understand she is your partner but that doesn't make this your problem.I would leave it to her to deal with. Don't expose yourself to risk.
He has no right to ask you to go in and see him. It is nothing to do with you. It was completely unfair of him to place you in this position.
Spitting is an assault. Shouting at a person actually so closely that salvia can strike them is an assault as well be apprehension.Don't get involved in this. Leave it to her to defend herself. You need to protect your position and you didn't do anything.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Should I suggest a meeting with a solicitor present for Karen?
No, you should leave it to her to sort this out.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Many thanks
I'm not sure what she can achieve at this proposed meeting anyway. On the face of it, her account does seem to amount to an admission of some offence or another and there isn't usually anything to be gained in that.I suppose she could offer an apology.I wouldn't get involved in this though. They will only start blaming you when it goes wrong.
It might all turn into nothing.They wouldn't get compensation for this anyway of any substantial kind.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so muchBye for now.
No problem and all the best. Remember that I am always available to help with your questions. Even if I am in Court I will usually pick up a question within 12 hours. For future information, please start your question with ‘For Jomo1972’.