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James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 22629
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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My wife is having an affair which I discovered two weeks ago.

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My wife is having an affair which I discovered two weeks ago. We have two girls (5 & 8) living with us. I pay for all the bills out of my wages. I am a low earner and so have very little left after bills and rent etc. Wife works for cash hairdressing and spends what she likes on whatever she likes.

Now I have discovered the affair and we are splitting up:
1) Is it fair for me to demand that she start paying her phone bill, car insurance etc etc now (she refuses to stop the affair) and share of the rent while living in the property

2) Have I any rights to throw her out of the house (she wants to take the children for part of the time this is fine by me, but I don't want her homeless or to upset the children too much).

We live in a small 2 bedroom property, the children share and I am having to share a 3/4 size (not quite double) bed with her while she continues to have sex with another man. There is very little money. What are my options?
Are you contemplating divorce?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi - yes I am, but we were talking about splitting amicably over two years - we will split for definite.

The property appears to be rented. Is the agreement in yr sole name?
what about other bills?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

My brother owns the house. We rent privately from my brother. I believe the original Rental Agreement lists me as the tenant, although this runs out on the 23rd February 2013 (having been for 1 year).


Citizens advice suggested I could end the agreement and everyone move out and then I could move back in separately and provide home for children. Or my brother could ask us all to leave as a means to the same end.


My issue is more to do with whether I could reasonably make my partner start paying for things that she or her business should be paying for, while she resides in the house.


And also whether I can reasonably "throw her out" as it were in light of her continued adulteration without losing any rights to the children.




This is the marital home and she has as
much right to live in it as you do.

There is no allegation of violence , so
it would be impossible to get an order to exclude her from the property. The
courts are not interested in who is responsible or why and the same thing goes
with regard to finances and children.

Who would the children live with and
who has been the main carer until now?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

We both care for the children equally around work. I would intend for the the children, after divorce, to live with us both separately, 50/50.


To come back to my original question - it is unreasonable for me to expect her to start paying towards the rent and other bills and her phone which she uses for her business and which I currently have been paying for?

While you still
live together as husband and wife, you can stop paying anything which is not in
your sole name. She then simply becomes a wife whose husband keep short of
money and there is no legal solution until divorce proceedings are started.

Does that answer
the question?

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The thread remains open.

Thank you.

James Mather and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thanks - I wasn't sure how it all worked - I thank you for you time and do not worry about being on/off line - I just reacted as and when as I'm also working.


So, in summary... I think I can reasonably request that she pay towards the shared bills.

Yes, although any small claim court claim will fail if you were to get to that stage.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thank you.

Glad to help. Regards