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UKfamsol, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 560
Experience:  Very experienced specialist family law solicitor, qualifed in 1994
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i have two daughters my wife and i are seperated i see them

Customer Question

i have two daughters my wife and i are seperated i see them each week and have the girls for two nights at least, my wife has said she will not let me see them what can i do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  UKfamsol replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thanks for your question.

I need a bit more info first:-

How old are your daughters?
What reason has your wife given for stopping your contact with them?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

my daughters are 2yrs and nearly 4 years she has said i cannot see them beacuse i wanted to spend the day with them today after work was cancelled, she said they had to go to nursery i dropped them off at nursery and she has picked them up herself and is saying that she will not let me see them, she also did this a few weeks before xmas simply refused to let me see them. she has allways allowed me access all day tues (whilst she works) then i usually pick them up and have them fri night and sat day and night and take them back on sunday teatime, more recently they often stay on monday night too.

Expert:  UKfamsol replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thanks for extra info. It's clear that you love your daughters very much and want to spend as much time as possible with them. It's government policy that children should have contact with the parent they do not live with - unless there is very good reason why not. However, how that works out in practice depends on the particular circumstances in each case.

In your case, you say that the arrangement for you to have the girls was all day Tuesday every week, plus every week from Friday overnight to Sunday tea-time - which means that you were having the girls for over 3 full days per week.

A good contact arrangement has to be for the benefit of the children - and that means as well as being safe and happy and well-looked after, the children's normal routines should not be disrupted. A good contact arrangement should also be a regular arrangement that is not changed at the last minute (except in emergencies of course).

From what you describe, you were already getting almost 50% of the children's time, so I think it was not reasonable of you to want MORE time with the children. You also changed the arrangement at the last minute and I think this was not reasonable either.

You also need to be aware that the children need to spend sufficient time with their mother, so expecting to spend MORE time with them would reduce their time with their mother.

You do have the right to go to court for a contact order - as I do agree with you, and the court would agree - that the children's mother was not right to stop your contact altogether- but I doubt you would get a contact order for any more than you were getting previously.

Going to court is stressful, time-consuming and espensive. From 1st April 2013 legal aid for family cases has stopped, except for people who are the victims of domestic violence, or people whose children have been assessed as being at risk by social services. I therefore suggest that your next step should be to go to mediation. The family court anyway now requires the parties to have attempted mediation before it will consider an application for a contact order. Mediation is a round-the-table discussion with a neutral trained mediator and the two of you. You can self-refer or you can ask your local family law solicitor to make the referral.

Here's where to find a family mediation service:-

Here's where to find a good solicitor:-

I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.

I hate to specify - but please rate my answer ok, good or excellent - or I get nothing for my time!!! (so the website keeps all).)

Thanks and best wishes....

Expert:  UKfamsol replied 4 years ago.
Hello again.

I see that you looked at my answer yesterday - but you have not accepted it.

Is there anything you feel I did not cover in my answer?

Or is there anything you would like further clarification on?

Let me know! I'll do my best!

(I'm away for a few days from today - back Saturday - so I will answer any follow-up question from you as soon as I get back. )

best wishes....