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James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1390
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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I need help to decide next steps. I want to divorce my husband. I

Customer Question

I need help to decide next steps.
I want to divorce my husband.
I am certain the marriage is over and cannot to continue - have slept in separate room for nearly a year for various reasons.
He refuses to accept it is over.
He has said he will not move out.
He tends to communicate via text and email.
We have a daughter and I fear he will try and use her as a toll against me.
Can he force me to stay in an unhappy marriage ?
I want to put my daughter first.
I do not love him.
He accepts none of this.
I believe our differences ar irreconcilable.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first
How old is your daughter, who has been her main carer until now.
How much is the property worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.


Our daughter is 8.

We have mainly split expenses except that I paid deposit and initial purchase fees ( approx 60,000). I covered mortgage for about a year and all expenses in 2003/4 when he was unemployed. he has paid aDditional money to home improvement/renovation approx 20-25000. the house is worth 400,000 outstanding mortgage 137,000. I have always managed home fnances, he gives me n mount that is roughly hlf of joint expenses and I dal with it. I hve in mymy opinion

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

our daughter is 8. we both care for her, although as her mum I would say my daily, conversational, organising her life/things, physically being a mother is more. Home is worth 400,000, mortgage is 236,000. I bought house with initial laydown of approx 66,000. he has financially conrtibuted half mortgage over 10 yrs ( we twice remortaged) tho' in 2003/4 I paid all for about yr when he out of wk. he has spent approx 15,000 on home improvements...I have also spent money but also conrtibuted o my time /effort to make home. we mrried in 2004 and I put his name on deeds then.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
My apologies for the delay
How long have you lived together?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

we have lived together since January 2003- he moved into my old flat.I bought the house we now live in, in May 2003 and we married in May 2004. He works as a freelance IT consultant and earns more than me. I have always managed the home and finances and he pays me half a calculated bills, mortgage etc ammount monthly..he has historically given me as he sees it a 'bit more' £200 but in reality I spend more than this anywanyway on our daughter and things I don't account for. hHe still wants to make marriage work and for me it has been dead and an incompatible match for many yrs. I am going to try a last time to expalin this then suppose Imust see a solicitor, wanting to keep costs down.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
How much does a two bedroom property in the same general area cost
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

This varies of course - 250,000 - 350,000 - I'd say. I live near stratford and wanstead in east london. I feel sure he will refuse to move. I would rather not sell, pay the mortgage myself and sell once my daughter finnishes full time education. she attends a private school, is extremeley happy and thriving there. I would be prepared to ask him for nothing except for school fees - although have not said this.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Could you raise any sort of capital sum at all?