How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask James Mather Your Own Question
James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1390
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
James Mather is online now

I live in northern Ireland and my daughter has lived with me

Customer Question

I live in northern Ireland and my daughter has lived with me up until three months ago. she has had a lot of problems and I have had to enlist the help of an educational solicitor, social workers. behavioural therapist and counsellors. her father has always worked away coming home roughly once a month. he has given only minimal financial assistance despite a verbal agreement og £200 per month. my bank statements will show that in an eleven year period he paid this less than fifteen times. during the two years when her behaviour was off the scale I repeatedly asked her father to come home and help but his mother was unwell and he refused saying she came first before his daughter due to her age and ill health. I held a meeting with the team helping me and my daughter and managed to get her a month off as I felt she was overwhelmed. The educational psychologist felt that my daughter problems were with her impulse control she will try to get what she wants regardless of the consequences to her and others .
when she went with her daddy to England for a break I was worried that he would not keep up the talking to her re her problems which she does need as she also has anger problems. this all started when she entered grammar school and we believe the behaviour has its roots in her being bullied in primary school. the team looking after my daughter in northern Ireland (she resided here with me for fourteen years) feel that becci also has majors issues with accepting responsibility for her actions. to cut a long story short whilst in England her father and I had had a big row and I told him that they should stay in England, when the heat dies in the argument and I said sorry he told me that becci has just by chance seen the text message on his phone and was refusing to come home.i begged and begged him not to support this as she needed to continue with the support in place for her at home. he refused saying she was fourteen and could make her own mind up, he went so far as to start proceedings to enrol her in school without my consent or involvement. I went to England and after three days managed to bring them home. I even brought home a friend of her for a holiday to help becci settle , one that I paid for. becci returned with her father on the 1st july to see friends whilst her father seen the cardiologist, he has had more than one heart attack since February of this years and is having repeated angina attacks and is currently of work and about to become homeless. due to a further argument we have had my husband is staying in England with our daughter and I have no say in anything. he has enrolled her is a new school despite her being due to start a new school over here in September, one that we all including our daughter agreed to. he teels me I have no rights to becci but that he will allow me to rebuild a relationship with her. I find this horrific considering that I have had full residence for fourteen years with minimal support from him. again I was not involved in the choosing of the schhol and the first I knew of it mwas when he sent me a picture of her in her new school uniform help
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first
How is her behaviour at the moment?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

it appears to be settled at minute but then she has no issues because she has left them all behind her.becci is receiving no support for her anger management which she herself agrees she has problems with.she has cut all contact with her family over here to include her brothers and granny. as becci is currently on holiday mode she is not having to deal with anything besides staying up late lying in bed late and running around with friends

the educational psychologist states that becci has major issues with her impulse control which at times has put her safety at risk,. she currently visits a house where cannabis is regularly taken and bought and sold. becci is also very manipulative and will tell people want she feels they need to hear. she has and I have on report that she does not have a relationship with her father and that when things get difficult he runs away. this is a recent report established this year. I am very worried about her father seeing things through rose coloured glasses. he has a drug habit himself although he may be trying to give this up since becci is staying with him. however in the past when things were difficult he can smoke up to 4/6 cigs of cannabis per day> I am worried sick and cannot get to see her or talk to her. if I am allowed contact it is only through text I urgently need an answer on this as I consider her current circumstances to be unsafe


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Where are they currently living?
What contact are you having with your daughter
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Peterborough England

I am only allowed to text her. iam not allowed to visit her until he thinks the time is right and they are settled into a new home. he has already threaten to change both their mobile numbers


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Are Social Services involved at all?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

no not at minute I am trying to resolve this without upsetting my daughter I have only contact by text

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Are you willing to take official action to deal with this?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Our mission is to help people by providing the #1 online platform for them to access verified Experts – quickly, conveniently and affordably. Millions of our customers appreciate that and apparently, so does the Better Business Bureau (at least we think so, because they gave us an A+ rating). In short, by offering our service, we believe that we can improve the world. And for us to declare that mission accomplished, you’ve got to be happy. you have not upheld your current mission statement. Please read this carefully, you may not have read this before. you have not delivered a service according to this mission statement hence my decision to take this case to the ombudsman


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
I cannot help you unless you give me all the necessary information.
There are various ways forward - but all of them involve taking Official Action of the type that will certainly upset your daughter
I need to know if you are willing to do this now or not
Ifyou do not wish to ocntinue then I am happy to process a refund for you - or indeed I understand that you can do so from your side as well
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 4 years ago.

I see you are not happy with the service provided so far. We can either return your good faith deposit to the original funding source, or we can keep your deposit on your account here for future questions for up to 30 days after the deposit was placed.

Please let me know how you wish to proceed, and I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

I hope you will give JustAnswer a try again in the future,