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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34908
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi, My 25yr old sons girlfriend is expecting his baby in a

Customer Question

Hi, My 25yr old son's girlfriend is expecting his baby in a few weeks time. Despite his best efforts to help her practically and financially she seems to have decided that she no longer wants my son in her life. If they are not to be a family as he wishes, what can he do to ensure that he sees his child on a regular basis? Your advice would be greatly appreciated as he
currently does not know which way to turn.
Thank you.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to help you.
Your sons rights do not begin until the child is born.
The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary.
Your son should try and discuss the issue of contact with his ex using Family Mediation (
If that fails then he can apply to the Court for a Defined Contact Order and also for Parental Responsibility of he so wishes
He can find out more here
and here
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your reply, I have passed this information on to my son.

As his rights begin after baby is born, are we correct in deducing that he has no rights to be present at the birth? Also the mum to be has told him that the baby can have his surname. Am I right in thinking the father's details must be on the birth certificate, and that the surname is not enough? As the mum's 'feelings' appear to have altered quite quickly, around the 3rd month of pregnancy, 1 or 2 relatives of ours have suggested a 'paternity test'. Where do we stand on this issue? Thank you again.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
You are correct - he has no right to be at the birth.
The mother can use his surname if she wishes - but your son cannot be Registered as the Father unless he is there at the time of Registration.
If he wishes to request a DNA Test once thechild is born it can be done as part of any application for Contact or Parental Responsibility
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you again for your advice.


With my son's baby due in 3wks, he has asked his ex if any further preparations are needed. Her reply implied that he has offered very little help so far (untrue) & that her ex partner & father of her teenage son is back 'on the scene'. A new concern is that this man is reported to be abusive. The mum to be has told my son that he can 'meet his daughter after she brings her home from hospital'. Also that he can pay for furnishing her new home once the council/housing assoc.move her, her son & baby to a larger property!


We are out of our depth on this one!

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
I suggest that he arranges mediation as soon as possible to try and discuss contact arrangements!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Ok thanks,

he tells me he has been on the mediation website & requested a call back. He did this yesterday.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
However they do a list of Mediators in the area and it would be a good idea to phone them directly
Customer: replied 4 years ago.


Having spoken to Mediation, my son feels that his ex would not agree to meeting with them. wishing to sort contact, maintenance etc between themselves......Thus leaving her in control I think!


If she gives birth & Registers the baby without informing my son, what would be the procedure/sequence to confirm paternity, contact & maintenance etc. One fear being that if we 'interfere' she will 'disappear' with baby.


Thank you for your help.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Whether or not he thinks she will agree it is a step he has to take before Court Action in any event
Once the baby is born he will have to try mediation and if that fails then make an application to the court for contact and Parental Responsibility, as described above
If the mother disappears she will be traceable via the DWP when she claims benefits