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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34897
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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my daughter has lived with her mum since she was 2 years old

Customer Question

my daughter has lived with her mum since she was 2 years old she is now 14 1/2 and over the last 2 years has been having trouble with her mother and partner and their 2 younger children, she has now been told to leave and live with me which has happened just. I need to make this legal as we want no more problems in the future is this possible if so how?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.

My name is Mac and I will be able to help you with your question. First I need to ask some more information.

Does your daughter want to live with you? (I assume so, but forgive me for asking, I have to check.)

Does her mother agree?

Is there any discussion of this in writing / on email?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

yes she wants to live with me but she will be staying at her nans mon to fri and me weekends so she can carry on at her school, her mother agrees i only have texts on my phone as any form of writing


Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.
Are you currently paying child maintenance in relation to your daughter? If so, is it by court order, or CSA assessment?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

i pay 400 gbp per month through bank transfer but this is a personel arrangement through me and her mum

Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.
Were you and the mother ever married?

Have you reached an agreement as to what will happen about the maintenance payments?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

we were never married and the payment wilol go to her nan now as she is looking after her and the mother agrees

Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for the information.

The default general position at law in relation to children is that the court will not make an order if it doesn't have to. In your specific situation, as you have an agreement with the mother, then you do not need to do anything official with the court. Even if you made an application, it would tell you both that no order was necessary in relation to where your daughter is to live. (If you started to disagree, it would be different).

However, it would be sensible to make sure that your agreement is recorded in writing, to avoid any misunderstanding later. So, I recommend that you set out to her in an email/letter a summary of your agreement, including the maintenance payments. You can say in the email that you are just doing it to record the agreement so that are no misunderstandings. It does not matter if she does not reply.

I hope that is helpful, and if there is anything that you would like me to explain further, please ask. Most of all, I hope your daughter is very happy with the new arrangements.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
My name is Clare and I would just like to check something
You mention that you were not married to the child's mother - has a Parental Responsibility Agreement been signed?
If not then you really do need to get your ex to sign one so that you can in fact sign school and other paperwork for your daughter
Please ask if you need further details