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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34897
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have two boys age 14 and 9 they both have adhd and both have

Customer Question

I have two boys age 14 and 9 they both have adhd and both have autism the oldest wants time with is his dad but not her the younger one used to stay every other weekend but does not want to no more he used to come in once a week but know she does want him near me so know they are saying i should make the boys go and see them but i dont know what to do for the best as he does not even give me any money for them but its not even about that what rights does he have please
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact are they meant to have and is there a court order involved?
Why have you not applied to the CSA for maintenance?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

when he went in march he came in once a week to see them and he said he would have them every other weekend to give me a break but because he was cheating on me with this other women who was a mature friend my oldest wanted time with his dad but not her but me and his dad got on and she didnt like it so now he cant came round to see them and i try to say about they disability but get told i am just using that and he just will not grow a back bone and say what he wants she has to do every thing with him he never does anything with just the boys by himself so they dont really see him and thats my fault there is no court order and we was meant to sort csa between our selfs then they have just had they birthdays and i said we can go halfs on they presents but that didnt happen so he said just remember that he lives with 3 girls now so has to support them even though she gets money from her husband

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
What contact has he actually asked for - and are you willing to apply to the CSA now?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

He would like them every other weekend but they dont want to spend time with her just want a bit of time with they dad but he has no they are all family like it or dont see him

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
So have you offered something like three hours every saturday?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

they dont want to spend time with her just want time with they dad but get told no they are a family now so they do everything together expect it or dont see they dad at all i have said just the three of them go get something to eat but she will not allow it they all have to go

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Contact is something that you and your ex have to work out between you I am afraid - if that is not possible then it is open to your ex to apply to the Court for a Defined Contact Order.
If he does that then the court will decide what the contact should be
I am afraid that at 9 your youngest is too young for his wishes to be decisive in the matter.
Offer to discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation and a Mediator trained to work with young people if you think your children are up to it
The compromise I suggest is that of they do nor wish to stay overnight you offer visiting contact at the weekend = tell him what the children have said to you and then leave him to it.
Tell the children that just as they have to go to school in the week they have to see their father at the weekend and let him work matters out with them
If the 14 year old refuses to go then tell him he has to tell his father himself - either in person or in writing
So far as the financial side is concerned apply to the CSA tomorrow and let then deal with it
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details