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James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1390
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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we have been involved with our grandchildren aged 10 and 12

Customer Question

we have been involved with our grandchildren aged 10 and 12 years since they were born. Looking after them in school holidays, taking them on holiday and generally being there for them whenever needed. My son and his first wife who is the boys' mother are divorced and as she is an alcoholic and living somewhere in Liverpool she has no contact with the boys.
My son is a Sargeant in CID and so therefore if on call outs the boys stay overnight with us.
He has been separated from his 2nd wife for 14 months [they have only been married for 4 years and this is the 3rd separation]so we have had the boys most of the time, meeting them from school, giving them dinner, taking them to football matches they are playing in and being supportive as their mom is no longer capable of looking after them when their dad is working. The problem lies with wife no. 2, she has 2 girls aged 9 and 11 and she has no time for the boys and never has. The boys have no time for her and have constantly told their dad that they do not like her and do not want to live with her again. He wants to try again and at present they live in separate houses [he rents- she owns as she earns 3 times his salary] and she has really split the family apart. After words on wednesday he told us that we will not be allowed to see the boys again. They sat in the car like two frightened mice, sobbing their hearts out, we said that we would see him in court and he laughed and said we had no rights to see he boys. If we had not been part of their lives I would understand that, but the youngest spoke to his teacher and said he did not want to live with wife no.2 and the girls again and wanted to be adopted by his nan and grandad/ Our hearts are breaking and we have sent e mails but it is obvious from the replies that their dad is doing the answering. I might add that she is the money earner and we have helped to bail him out on several occasions while he has been separated from her. If the boys wanted them back together and said they were happy with the situation, they we would have been unhappy but would not have said anything. My son is bullying the boys into doing something they are totally against and it will only be a matter of time before it all blows up with her again. She is a career person and has no time for the children, when my son was living with her he did the ironing for the children and took and fetched them from school and on her say so was allowed to only have the boys for 8 nights a month. We had them when ever they wanted to stay with us and love them deeply, they are our only grandchildren and we are desolate at the situation we now find both them and ourselves in. sorry it is such a long question.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
This is a very new argument - is there a family member who can mediate between you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No, they do not have anything to do with the maternal side as they blame our son for the break up of the marriage and for their daughter being alcholic. Our family are disgusted with our son's behaviour and would not intervene and wife no.2 does not have contact very often with her own mother as she lives in newcastle-upon-tyne, and she only has a aunt as her real father is in a home.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I do not think that calling in a mediator at the moment is a very good answer to the question and extra information I have supplied you with. I want to know how we stand in law and the best and quickest way to see our grandchildren again. At what age can they decide who they want to live with?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
I wanted to know how to legally regain access to our grandchildren, not to be advised to get a family mediator. If that could have happened we would have arranged that ourselves
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
by giving more information for the question asked. I was certainly not worth £22 and would prefer a refund.