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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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He did take them when we were together and when I found out

Customer Question

He did take them when we were together and when I found out I was pregnant I told him to stop or I would leave. He never stopped and then denied parentage. I named him as father to the CSA and he accepted, and promised me he'd stopped and I honestly believed he did so started bringing the 9month old round to him to build relationship. However, once I was there he pulled an extassy tablet from down back of sofa and blamed his housemate. My suspicions are based on telephone conversations we've had whereby he sounds under the influence, rapid weight loss and his refusal to take a test in the past. And them he shaved his head after I'd asked him. When I drop my child off the house smells of smoke. Is this enough evidence? How does an application for drug test work?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.

What contact arrangements does he currently have? And is this just a voluntary arrangement between the two of you?

Until he can prove he is drug-use free, what level ( if any) of contact would you be prepared to offer him? Perhaps supervised contact, or contact in a contact centre ? (I'm not saying you must offer that, just suggesting some possibilities for you to think about).

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Memorandum. Of understanding: every other sun 12:30-4pm and alternate Mondays for tea. Supervised contact, in presence if his mum and dad. However actual arrangements are every other Sunday 10:30-4pm and he has her at his own house alone? Because I've let the supervised contact lapse does that effect anything? Other solicitor said I need concrete evidence, from what I've said, which parts constitute concrete evidence?is it enough? I don't really feel like I understand the process?
Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.

It's going to be very difficult for you to gather concrete evidence, so I don't suggest you wait for that.

Before I finalise my suggestion as to how you should proceed, can you summarise what the court hearing is about that's coming up (assuming there is one coming up)?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Ex has made an application for court order for contact. Requesting fri-sun every other week. Alternate Xmas and birthdays and access in holidays.
Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.

I presume that within those proceedings, you are saying that he is a drug user and that you don't agree to there being unsupervised contact until he has submitted to a drugs test to show that he is clean (and perhaps a follow-up test 2/3 months later). If you haven't said that yet, then that's what you should be saying.

You will need to make sure the court knows why you believe that he takes drugs. If the court considers that there is a reasonable prospect that you are correct, then it will be likely to make non-supervised contact subject to him cooperating with future substance abuse test(s).


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Given the history of your matter and given the other issues that you have raised you HAVE to be careful with this allegation.
You have already allowed unsupervised contact so you MUST NOT withdraw this at this time unless there has been a specific incident involving the child.
Instead simply say that you have had concerns but assumed that he would not use it whilst the child was awake - but need reassurance that he will not use it at all whilst the child is in his care.
If he says he doesn't use drugs at all then that sets it up for you to ask for a drugs test - at your expense.
Before the hearing your solicitor should get some quotes and have a firm in mind