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James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1390
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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Hi I need some help about my husband, Im in a devasted state

Customer Question

Hi I need some help about my husband, I'm in a devasted state and don't know what to do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Could you tell me a little more about the problem please?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
My husband last Christmas 23rd of dec announced he wanted a divorce!!!.... A bombshell, but this was after 6 months of a total character change! Laughing at me, flirting with other women, humiliating me in public and in front of family and friends , verbally abusive even though he denies it all. I watched him slip into this cycle I've seen before in our 17 years 3 times before into a reoccurring depression. Then as I am upset at his behaviour and try to talk calmly to him I see what's happening lets seek counciling, he uses my upset as a reason for a divorce as he says "I don't want to burden you anymore I never make you happy'" he then disappeared for a week or two with very little contact and ignoring me, giving me suspicion there was someone else. As the last 3 times he's left me he's played the single man for a few months then decided to come back to me and our son. All year he's promised to try, we went to relate which he quit after three sessions as it got close to making him open up and he closed up, refusing to go back. I know he's depressed as he has been the last three so I continued the counciling alone which helped me to understand and support him and his depressions. I tried many things all year to help and aid him and assist him but all year he still drops into conversations and arguments that he's not sure he wants to be here. I tried to encourage him to make contact with his parents that his has neglectiion issues with and always has, it makes him very angry. He reached out 6 yrs ago with no response, he tried again this year and now 3 months with no response. Now I've also watched him all year seperate all our marital finances slowly and open new single things??? Now we are about to move and has announced he wants to live seperate again and use this time as a seperation.... A 4th one??? But at the same time tells me he loves me but wants this. The last 3 times he's done this has just been an excuse to me to live a single man childless for a while until he fills his boots and then wants back in!!! He has caused huge devastation by this in the past. We now have two children and wants this seperation again and I'm at the point where I don't want to tolerate this anymore and want to know my rights on making this seperation legal..... If this is what he really wants... No more games.... It's too painful! All year and now he's reminded me how he wants to leave and now a seperation and because I'm so upset he says "I want a seperation because your always upset!!".... And I'm upset because he keeps saying he wants to leave!!! He thinks he is doing nothing wrong and should not be upset by his request????? I know he's depressed but only so far I can support this treatment surely???? I love him and I DO NOT WANT A DIVORCE OR A SEPERATION I wasn't to support him and in sickness and in health help him back to not feeling this way. I've tried everything!! Even give give give what men always desire!!!! But still he will take that but still wants to treat this living apart as a seperation. A 4th time I will not tolerate anymore. Please help. What are my rights to ask him to do it legally if he means what he says?????
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
How old are the children?
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What other assets and debts are there ?
How much do you each earn?