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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35077
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have twin boys who are 16 months, and they go to their dads

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I have twin boys who are 16 months, and they go to their dads (with his parents there too) every other Sunday 11-6. My boys are always unsettled and he seems to be incapable to stick to their simple routine, which is important as I am a single mum. He is now demanding to have them full weekends, I'm really not happy with this, but he said if I don't say yes he's seeking advice. I am making myself ill over this and having terrible nights with nightmares. I would never say never to full weekends, but at the moment I'm just not happy at all, especially as my boys are always unsettled. Please help me :-( Gem
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What part of their routine does he not keep to?
How long have you been separated?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hi Clare, he left me when I was pregnant, then when the boys were born he wanted to try as a family, he saw them pretty much every weekend with me, in October I told him we weren't working as a family and he could have them every other Sunday, until the boys are settled in then we would review it. He hadn't had them on his own until October last year. He has had them every other Sunday with his parents and sister there, as he still lives at home, but even now I drop the boys off and They cry when I leave, and I'm told they cry for about half an hour when I'm gone :-( he doesn't seem to be able to stick to their sleep, which is very important, as soon as I pick them up he tells me they didn't have their late afternoon nap, therefore they fall asleep in the car on the way home and I have trouble settling them when I get home even after milk and change in pyjama routine with me, gem
The fact that the children are upset when you leave simply shows that your children have a healthy attachment to you which is a good thing.
However their fathers inability to follow their routine does mean that you are right to have concerns about his ability to care for them overnight
You should offer to discuss matters with him using Family mediation ( so that you can explain how important routine is to a baby - with the mediator to back this up
You can then discuss a way of working towards overnight contact - aiming for after Easter maybe if he shows that he is able to settle them to sleep
Provided you show that you are open to the progression as soon as this problem is sorted with then you have little to fear from a court.
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