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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Good morning, I have recently split up with my partner, he

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Good morning,
I have recently split up with my partner, he works in Libya his work schedule is; works away for 8 weeks and is home for 4 and so on. Our son lives with myself, always has, for these long periods of time that my ex is away I have had sole responsibility for our son. Basically everything has always been done to. My concern is that when my ex comes home for his 4 weeks leave is that he is going to try and take my son away from me for long periods of time to try and prove that he has him just as much as me, basically trying to be awkward so that he does not have to pay child support, out of spite really. I would just like to know can he do this? Surely he can't just walk back into our sons life every 8 wks and try and keep him for days on end just to try and prove he has him as much as me? Any help would be much appreciated, thanks Helen Nixon.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is your son and what contact do you wish to offer?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Jude is 16 mths old, for the 4 wk period that my ex comes back each time I'm quite happy for him to Jude each day at some point if necessary although at that age does not get the anticipation of wanting to see his dad or understand. Also if my ex would like Jude to stay with him over night once or twice a wk, I am not apposed to that. Please note my ex lives with his dad in a bungalow, does not own his own property.
My concern is that my will want more than this and I feel that it is unreasonable seen as I look after Jude full time for the 8 wk periods that he is away, it's a big change going from having my son full time to then not having him very much, selfishly it would affect me but most importantly I think I would affect my son.
Whilst I do understand how you feel yourself - you need to concentrate purely on the needs of your small son
When your ex is home you do need to be reasonably generous about contact - two or three nights a week (assuming Dad can cope with him) would be reasonable - but your son also needs to spend time with you as well
You need to discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation ( to arrange an acceptable pattern.
You can find some information here
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