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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi. It looks as though my 20 year relationship is coming to

Customer Question

Hi. It looks as though my 20 year relationship is coming to an end even though I don't want it to. We have 2 children aged 7 & 12 and we jointly own the house we purchased in 1997. The deposit to buy the house was from my father. She wants me to leave the house but at the moment I am refusing and still trying to resolve the situation. I cannot bear the thought of not seeing my children every morning when I wake up. What are my rights where the house is concerned.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Are you married?
What income do you each have?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
We have about £120,000 left on the mortgage and the house is probably worth 1/2 million. My income is around £40,000 having dropped from £52 and my partner is on about £50,000. We are not married, we have two children, the mortgage is jointly owned although the deposit to secure the house came from my dad and we have lived in the house for over 16 years.
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
How much was the deposit and did you protect it with Declaration of Trust?
How much does a three bedroom property in the same general area cost to buy?
How is the care of the children currently shared between you?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
The deposit was £5000 as the purchase price at the time was £98,000. Not sure about the declaration of trust part. We are still living together in the same house and we share equal responsibility of the children. Flats in the area tend to go for £350,000 upwards. Ours is a semi detached 3 bed which I believe the baseline price is about £500,000
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
I assume there has been no discussion about how the care will be shared in the future?
Was the £5,000 a gift or a loan?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Although my dad has never mentioned it. I believe it is a gift that allowed us to get our first home. No discussion has taken place about this although it would create problems if I stopped doing the morning runs. Ultimately I would like to reconcile with her but it is important that we keep things together at least until the end of the school year.
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Your ex can't force you to leave the house unless there is an incidence of violence when she can ask the court to exclude you
The Starting point for division of the equity is 50/50 - although if the person with the care of the children needs extra capital to help them rehouse the children then that person would get it - but it would be repayable when the youngest child is 18.
If the relationship is salvageable then you need to go to Relationship counselling (, if not then you need to try using Family mediation ( to discuss how a separation can be managed
You can read more on this website\
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details