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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi, were going through a breakup were not married but we

Customer Question

we're going through a breakup we're not married but we have a baby, both our names are XXXXX XXXXX birth certificate. my partner is saying she thinks we could do joint custody. do some people do this? the baby living in two different homes doesn't feel right to me.
realistically as a bloke, how much chance do i stand if i try for custody myself?
Many thanks
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How is your ex suggesting that shared residence would work?
Do you both work?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks Clare,

we both work, i'm self employed, Donna works in a shop, we both work weekends and i work unsocial hours.

she hasnt really suggested anything, i've said i dont think joint custody would work, and i'd rather give up work or cut back on my hours and look after daughter myself. but she doesnt want that.

i think she's expecting to much..

part of the arguments we've had is her long work hours not earning enough to make it beneficial and me having to cut back on my hours so donna can work to earn less not earning enough to pay bills....


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
If you cared for the child what contact would she have with her mum?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks for your quick replies, neither of us want to stop the other one seeing the child or anything like that. i think as far as we're both concerned we'd both want each other too see the child when ever we wanted.


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Would that include overnight contact?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

yes, thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
That is in fact what your ex is suggesting.
Whether you call is Residence and contact or just shared residence - it simply means the child spending time each week with each of you - in whatever arrangement works for you both and the baby.
This does not mean a 50/50 split - it means whatever you agree - possibly using Family mediation (
If you cannot agree then an application will have to be made to the court and the court will have to decide what the arrangements should be and from all that you have said you have a very good chance of successfully arguing that the child should spend a considerable part of her time in your care
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details