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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35059
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My wife has borderline personality disorder, has openly committed

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My wife has borderline personality disorder, has openly committed adultery and now wants me to divorce her on the grounds of her adultery. This way she stands to receive a significant financial settlement. I need help in understanding how the law deals with people with this mental illness.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is your concern about there being a divorce?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.



When the adultery first took place I still loved my wife and would have reconciled so my concern at this stage was emotional and I wanted to keep my marraige and my family together (one son). I was also concerned about the financial ramifications, having had a reasonably sucessful career both before and since I married (18 year marraige), I have significant assets including a final salary pension and significant equity in the house (much of which was created before I married as I already owned the house).Regrettably my wife has continued to commit adultery and is on her third partner (that I have knowledge of)so reconciliation has become impossible. The fact that she has borderline personality disorder has meant she has attempted suicide on three occassions in the last two years. Her relationship with my son is non existant and I have no contact with her either and no longer know where she lives. My concern with a divorce now, is that whilst I feel I have done nothing wrong, my wife is claiming 50% of all assets which will probably mean I lose my home. I'm therefore seeking advice as to whether the fact she has a mental illness can help me protect my financial assets. Regrettably my wife has continued t

Whichever of you instigates the divorce and whichever ground is used the financial consequences remain the same - and the amount she can claim will simply increase as your assets increase
At present since your son will remain with you you have an excellent chance of retaining 60% of the assets - potentially a little more.
Sadly highlighting her mental health issues would in fact simply cost you more since she could argue that she needs ongoing maintenance to protect her
I am sorry I know that this i snot what you wish to hear - but it is a realistic reflection of your position
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you.


Regarding my house which is in my name only, I bought it with a previous partner. When this relationship ended, the house was valued and she was given her share of the property value in cash. This was all done through the proper legal process and I have the paperwork. I married my wife some two years after this. My view is that in my current circumstances, my wife should only be entitled to the equity that has accrued in the property since we married

So, pre marraige the house was worth £180k less a £60k mortgage (£120k equity). The house is valued at £360k now and I have a £100k mortgage (£260k equity). My view is that my wife is entitled to a share of £140k in equity. This seems very reasonable to me but how do you think the law will view it ? Also my wife owned a flat when we met. She subsequently sold it, making a small 'profit' of around £10k and she had an endowment policy worth circa £15k. She kept both these amounts. Plus she contributed no money at any time to any costs associated with the house during our 18 yr marraige (although I know she will say she was the main carer when my son was small).


I am so sorry but notwithstanding the clear reasoning the fact is that an 18 year relationship means a 50/50 starting point for division of the matrimonial home no matter when or how it was acquired.
Whilst the need to house your son and her lack of contribution will help to reduce the percentage to 60/40 in your favour the suggestion that you out forward is not one which will find favour with the court
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you