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familylawexpert, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 311
Experience:  Substantial experience (14yrs +) in divorce, financial cases, cohabitation, pre-nuptial agreements and civil partnerships.
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Hi I split with my girlfriend of 10 months as things where

Customer Question

Hi I split with my girlfriend of 10 months as things where not working out I stupidly agreed to give it a last go after a lot of tears and tantrums on her part. Things did not improve and I told her so and that I stood by original decision that we should go our separate ways . Wham! She announced I couldn't leave her as she was now pregnant! After a lot of arguing etc etc we still split up as I said I would not stay with someone who for pregnant on purpose especially as right from the second week of seeing this girl she asked about children ( I have two girls with my ex wife who I see regularly) I point blank said I did not want anymore children with anyone and have always been open and honest about it and took precautions to see this didn't happen. It now appears that the girls stopped taking her pill. However after getting over the shock I have excepted that another child is on the way and have told the girl I will pay maintenance and have the baby as I do my daughters at weekends obviously we would agree on how often etc as I have done with my ex wife for my daughters. The problem is that the girl has started showing up on my doorstep banging the door down upsetting my daughters threatening not to see the baby if I don't do what she says. Callings house over and over at all times off the night turning up trying to scratch my vehicle parked on the drive. Sitting I'm her car for ages on the side of the road outside my house! I don't know where I stand . Obviously it's a bad situation all around a baby should not be born into these circumstances and I understand she is extra my hurt that I don't want to be with her etc etc but I have after the initial shock and screaming and shouting always said I will do right by the baby as I do my other children and have the baby as agreed as much as I can to help out. She if now threatening me with solicitors but she won't say what for? I am already at my wits end with the situation and am trying to protect my other children. Am I doing anything wrong as I have said I have already willingly agreed to pay child maintenance either through personnel agreement or the CDs which ever she wants to do but it seems she is hell bent on making my life a misery and I don't know where I stand legally ?

Thank you
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.

My name is Mac. I can help you with your question.

Firstly, my sympathy for what is obviously a very difficult situation.

In respect of maintenance, if you offer in writing to pay the amount that you would be required to pay, which you can calculate using the CSA online calculator, then you need not fear any pressure/threats heaped on you in that respect.

In respect of time with the baby, she cannot force you to spend time caring for the baby. If the problem is that she will not let you see the baby, then you can make an application for contact. However, it would be a good idea to try to resolve things without court proceedings if you can. Mediation might be something worth trying, as it might be a venue for her to blow off some steam, as you obviously has some issues currently unresolved.

In terms of her harrassment of you, I suggest that you start keeping a diary of her activities that amount to that harrassment (including the doorstep shouting, scratching your car, sitting outside your house in her car etc. If she is still doing it in a month then write asking her to stop and explain that you will make an application to the court for a non-molestation order. If she is still doing it in two/three months, then make that application. You can make the application yourself with no need for a solicitor if you wish - the local CAB centre at court should be able to help you with the forms.

I hope that is helpful. If you would like me to clarify anything, please ask. If not, I would be grateful if you could rate my answer.


Expert:  familylawexpert replied 4 years ago.

I notice that you haven't rated my original answer above, and so wondered whether there was any aspect of your question that I could help you with further?