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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35056
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have recently spilt from a partner of 12 years we have had

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I have recently spilt from a partner of 12 years we have had 5 children together and out of the blue she told me to leave or she would call the police, it took approx. 6 weeks before I could arrange a house that would accommodate me and the five children when they came to stay with me, we agreed that I would have them every weekend from Friday after school until Sunday about 19.00, this would allow her to work nights at the weekend.

We also agreed that I could call by on a Wednesday at about 17.30 to have half an hour or so with the kids.
She has recently given up work so when I had the kids at weekends she would go out drinking most of the weekend and I've recently discovered she's been seeing someone else.
I asked that as there are five children for me every weaken I was finding it difficult to carry out many general household chores due to my long working week and entertaining the children all weekend.
We agreed that we would have alternate weekends, the first weekend was two weeks ago
and I ended up having the children Friday and Saturday as she wanted to go out with her 'friends', this weekend will be the first time she will have the children all weekend, she now tells me I can't see them in midweek so that would mean not seeing them of a two week period, I am not happy with this and would like some advice as to what I can do, also she tells me as my name is XXXXX XXXXX the children's birth certificate that I have no rights over them, she has informed school not to let me collect them at any time (I would not do that without prior agreement with the ex.)
Now Im informed that she has nominated her mother (not sure how) to be the children's next of Kin.

I am starting to feel uncomfortable with the situation as she also said that if things do not go the way she wants them she will run away with the children and I would never find them.

Your advice and guidance would be gratefully appreciated.

Thank you

Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and may I ask why you are not named on the Birth Certificates?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.



the children are; XXXXX 11 years, XXXXX-XXXX 10 years, XXXXXXXX 7 years, XXXXXXX 6 years and XXXXX 4 years.


I didn't get involved with the registration and I wasn't aware that I wasn't on the certificate, looking back I can't help feeling it was all part of my ex partners future intentions, she more or less admitted recently that she did for a reason!

Do you live close enough that the children could come to you for tea on a wednesday?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Not really I live approx 30 mins away
Could you take them out for tea somewhere once a week?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Yes I could do that the thing is we agreed at the split that I would always be their dad and that she'd never come between us and I trusted her with that but now she informed school I feel very uncomfortable I would never come between the mother and our kids both parents are as important to all kids
At present you do not have Parental Responsibility for the children - ad accordingly do not have the right to collect them from school or discuss matters with doctors etc.
HOWEVER this can be changed easily - either with her agreement in the form of a Parental Responsibility Agreement for each child OR without her agreement in the form of a Parental Responsibility Order being made by the court
Given your close relationship with the children there is no doubt that the court would make that Order as well as supporting your application for a defined contact order including two hours or so on a Wednesday so that you can take them out to tea
You should try and discuss matters with your ex using Family Mediation ( and if that fails then you can apply to the court for an Order - more details here
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you