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James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1390
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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My ex partner and I were in a battle of contact over our daughter

Customer Question

My ex partner and I were in a battle of contact over our daughter for over 2 years. I stopped contact enicially because, I was in a domestic violent relationship. I didn't call the police, or see a doctor for a lot if the abuse as I wasn't strong enough. But there were 7 desperate occasions where social services were involved because of things happening in front if the children, and envenutally the kids were put on a protection plan to protect them against emotional harm. We finally split up after an argument, and in the heat of it all I forcibly hit him to get him off me. I cut his face and he immediately rang the police, I was arrested and charged with abh. The police knew that I have always been the victim of domestic abuse, but because I marked his face I had to be charged. After splitting, my ex didn't see my little girl, for almost a year. When he discovered I had a new partner, he all of a sudden wanted contact. I refused to hand her over, as she didn't know him. He must have been told to take me to court before the law changed about legal aid. Which is what he did. We ended up in a battle for over 2 years, he had contact in a contact center, he behaved perfectly, and came out looking the doeting dad. There is now a contact order in place, and court is over. We have been doing as the contact order states for a few months now, but something really is a miss. Everytime she comes bk from her dad's she's out if control, she's swearing, spitting biting, at school too. But worst if all, she almost has a fear of my fiancé. She says things like daddy doesn't like u. He wants to stamp on your head. Sometimes she won't go near my partner or even look at him. It takes ages for her to come round to my partner again, and by the time we get her settled again, she has to go bk to her dad's again and it starts all over. She is only 3, so can't get out if her what is being said to her, but I'm so worried and concerned about what us happening while she's at her dad's. I've tried to talk to her dad about it, he denies saying anything, and just says take me bk to court. Legal aid will keep funding me as I'm the victim if domestic abuse. Is this true?? I'm taking her to the doctors to find out about a child psychologist, as if he is saying things to her, I need to stop contact before it's to late and her tiny mind is completely manipulated! My questions are, if I take her to a child psychologist, will they be able to find out what he is saying to her? And if he is, what will happen? And is he entitled to legal aid? Would they see him as the victim of domestic abuse after that one incident, even when it was actually me who was the victim, and even had to do the woman's aid course as part of my probation?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the actual pattern of contact?
Have you spoken to the Health Visitor