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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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HiI live in N Ireland.I,m a dentist but due to my x wife

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I live in N Ireland.
I,m a dentist but due to my x wife having flooded and stripped the x marital home after seperation 3 years ago i am approaching bankrupcy in next 4-6 weeks.
I am currently heading for the final divorce hearing on june 10th have no idea what a reasonable offer is re pension and or maintenance
My x is also repeatedly breaching contact orders for the 4 children, for which i have been granted 2 overnight per week, after a lenghthy legal battle and repeat visits to court due to breach of my contact order by her
I need legal advice as to most importantly how to take her back to court regarding the children and secondly, the divorce hearing.
my income will markedly reduce now and when i loose my practice(dental) , due to my contact with the kids will only work a three day week for several years.
I cannot afford further legal representation.
Many thanks
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and why do you wish to go back to court
What assets and debts are there and what income do you each have?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks Clare.

Firstly the kids , Kenneth, 10years, very unhappy with his mother, Jasmine 9, Sophia Rose 6 and Christian 7.

My X partner frequently breaches the contact order, which has been placed via a lengthy court process with contact being assessed by social services via vourt process and again recently as she has requested a court hearing . I also wish to =change the residence status for the children as she uses them witholding contact, against me , having a very detrimental effect on the childrens emotional state, esp Kenneth the oldest. His relationships with her has recently been very openly demonstarted to the social services. hence I would like the residence status reviewed due to firstly kids unhappiness and secondly her abuse of the contact order on a repeated basis.

this has happened before when 18months ago she recieved a probationery period 6weeks from the magistrate.


Debts, house and revenue, mainly house debts , excess of 500000.


Current income app90thousand per annum. however most of that goes to furnish debts and it will seriously reduce in between one and two months, so large maintenance payments will be unfurnishable.

She has no declared income.


thanks Johnny

What is the current order and how has she breached it?
How much is the matrimonial home worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Mtrimonial home has been reposessed with a shortfall of 300000.


She has breacherd the contact order by retaining the children.

Social services are involved only in respect of further court appearance and have not advised her to breach the order, in fact the oppositte.

On previous occasions I have gone to school to pick them up and she has appeared at which point rather than put kids through the obvious turmoil I left- seven week period last year and now over one month this year. Due to her request to alter my contact social services have arranged 4 meetings for an hour or two with the kids and I but are happy after two and have seen the effect on the kids with them constantly talking about wanting to stay and the oldest , befotre he had seen me btw, avoiding mother and cursing about her, which i dont condone but he was very emotional , this all occurred at the first social services meeting.

secong meeting kids wouldnt leave my side. Social worker has basically seen no need for further meetings and as such I presume will do a favopurable report for the court. My issues with current arrangement are of its ongoing abuse and having seen my x relationship with her parents breakdown and from my own experience this situation will continue to the detriment of my children.


So there is in fact an ongoing application before the court?
How is your ex currently housed?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Rental as am I
Her rent is 1100 per month. Mine is 750.
There is an application but likely to be withdrawn by her . I however think that for kids sake situation needs to change. I have kids three days by order, two overnights per week, alternating weekend/ school time .
If she has residence she will continue to abuse the order as has been the case. I warned the court of this three years ago and here we are as predicted with constant abuse of the order by her. I have stuck to it religiously.

If court awards her large maintenance in divorce n I can't pay it all what happens.
Thanks. J
What application is currently before the court with regard to the children?
Why will you lose your practise?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Apparently she is trying to vary contact. TBH she may be advised against this as the socia; services arent in favour.

I would like to apply to change residence.

I have only been told that she is putting it before the court .

As i am unable to fund further representation I knew that she would do thuis when i was vulnerabvle.


Practice, well bankrupcy, i know that i can continue to practise as a dentist but the bank will poses the building and unless a deal can be made with them, i will loose the premises.

i also have no idea how i can afford high spousal maintenance if awarded, tbh if she had been sensiblke id have gived her whati could in maintenance.

Se has lied in attempts to get me in trouble, to the point where I had to video kids drop offs with a discrete camera, which was sent to the pps on several occasuions to clear me. Until eventualy dec12 she lied , got a friend to lie for her, but there was good public CCTV and an officer who had been dealing with the case looked up the cctv before he approached me and on seeing the evidence that was admissable, he recommended a perversiobn of justice xchrge against her. The pps dropped this saying that she'd get away with it due to 'stress', she could be seen on camera laughing and giggling in waiting area on camera , it was borderline .

She has since accused some guy of rape, two years ago, hauled him into high court, the defence called on me at which point she dropped the case against him. hope this gives some feel as to the person that i am dealing with. Borderline personnality disorder.



Will Social Services support a Residence application by you?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

not sure yet i will ask at next meeting.

oldest boy weants tio be with me. She is sore on him because he favours myself- I havent promoted that with the kids.

other kids more balanced.

What is her earning capacity?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

well currently she has a business degree and I put her through a ptraining coarse last year of marriage.

Could work whilst kids at school or with me.Prob 20k per annum.

working 3 day week.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I work mornings that i have the kids and late nights when i dont.

I do want to reduce my hours for kids and currenlty been working long hours to try avoid bamkrupcy.

no reason that she cant do the same,


What settlement has she asked for?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

1500 per month spousal maintenance and 60percent of my pension

How did she justify 60% of your pension?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thats their proposal. dont know its not just but then thats her

How long were you married and how long has the pension been running?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Married fir eight and a half years. Pension running since 1996.
When did you commence cohabitation?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
One year before marriage
How much child maintenance are you paying?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Was paying 750 child maintenance worked out on a six month accounts last year. Also currently paying 750 spousal maintenance. In November she complained and the Csa went back to three years ago accounts at which time I was earning more bad requested 1284 per month. I was in throws off Bankrupcy and my advisor told me to stop the child maintenance which I did and now only pay the spousal.
I couldn't afford that and as previous I will be working less hours from end April on. Was working average of three late nights per week more hours than normal full time until December. Now do two late nights and five days one week
Two late nights and three full days, two half days the following week, altwrnating.
On what basis were you told to stop the Child Maintenance?
Did you appeal the CSA decision?
Is the Spouse maintenance paid under a Court Order?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Yes. Spouse maintenance is court order.
Child maintenance was unaffordable and I did pay her 800 through Csa December.
Due to Bankrupcy my advisor and Csa guy just said cancel debit until reassessed. Not formal.
Have you actually applied to the CSA for a re-assessment?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.


im going bankrupt and finacial situiation will change completely

None the less you should make the application for a assessment as soon as possible as otherwise arrears will continue to run.
With regard to the children you should make a cross application for Residence or Shared Residence
as soon as possible
Within the financial application you need to concentrate on showing that your ex has a clear earning capacity.
Your proposals to reduce your income is likely to be a problem since it is voluntary and that is likely to be a problem - and of course if you go bankrupt you will no longer have debt payments to meet
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

How do i apply for residence order, and my income will be reducing , it is not a proposal.

Not sure what happens as if she is awarded large maintenance payment they wont be met

The form is here
You make sure that at the financial hearing you produce clear evidence as to income and expenditure now and in the future
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you