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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34906
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hello, I have an 11 month old son who lives with his mother

Customer Question


I have an 11 month old son who lives with his mother 70 miles away. I currently get 2 and a half hours each Friday to see him under the "supervision" of his mother. We split when he was around 5 months old and it was a long distance relationship at the time, I spent weekends with them both. My ex seems to think because I have never lived with my son I would not have any chance of weekends alone with him or having him overnight. I obviously want this to happen. if I was to take it further, do you think I would have any chance of custody at weekends? I am paying for him through our own, arranged settlement and I am on the birth certificate as his father.

Thank you in advance.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you
The law says that a child is entitled to have a close relation ship with both parents and the court swill enforce this if necessary
The contact that you are having at the moment - supervised by his mother - is not conducive to you building your own relationship with the child and the court will not see it as sufficient
The starting point would be to move the contact to a local Contact Centre where you can see the child in a safe environment away from mum and build up your relationship and skills.
Over a few months you can start to move contact away from the centre and there is no reason why when he is just a little older you should not build up to overnight contact and eventually holiday contact - - however this is something to BUILD up to not jump into!
As a starting point you should offer to discuss this with your ex using Family mediation (
If that fails then you can apply to the court.
You can read more here
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you Clare,


When you say "just a little older", is there a rough age in which the courts will see fit for my son to travel and be with me for longer periods of time? I have seen him every week (give or take perhaps 5 or 6 occasions) since he was born and at 11 months he knows who I am. I am fairly positive that his mother does not want me to see him and is being as difficult as possible in the hope that I walk away. I think this is the best route to go down but I am concerned on the timeframes between telling the mother what I am doing and having these Contact Centre visits as in the time in between there is potentially no contact with my son.


Thanks again.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
There is no specific age
It is about what is right for your child.
the starting point is to move contact away from her home - then to build up the time spent
Start with the Mediation - there is at least the hope that you can actually agree to move on without the Contact Centre = maybe taking baby out for an hour and building up from there