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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34906
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My daughters ex husband was granted access to their daughter

Customer Question

My daughters ex husband was granted access to their daughter by the courts for every alternate Wednesday after school until 7pm when he would return her to my daughters address. Also, he has access every alternate weekend (falling in the same week as the Wednesday access), he collects their daughter on a Friday at 5pm and returns her home at 5pm on Sunday at 6pm. He has chosen recently to end the Wednesday access because he is too busy.
Since his court application he has moved from Milton Keynes to Northampton. The court ruled that he could not have overnight access on a night where a school day follows.
He is now demanding that my daughter travels to his Northampton residence to collect their daughter.
He continually harasses my daughter, demanding to change the access arrangements at a drop of the hat. He is very controlling and my daughter is at her wits end.
Is there anything she can do to stop his unreasonable demands?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and does the court order specify that he deal with collection and return?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My daughter informs me as follows:

The court order reads:
The mother shall make the child available for contact as follows ....

My daughters point is that she moved 1 Mile from the matrimonial home, but the father chose to move 35 mins away to another town. My daughter cannot afford or should have to travel in a car for up to 1 hour 10minutes for a decision he made. She ensured she stayed as close to the matrimonial home as possible.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
That is exactly what I needed to know - and your daughter is correct he is the one who has moved further away and he should bear the costs of that in time and money
All your daughter needs to do is to stick to the existing order - if he wants to make changes then she should decide each one on its merits - but feel free to refuse if she wishes
If he refuses to bring the child back ever and she HAS to collect him then she should simply refuse to allow contact on the next occasion unless he guarantees he will bring her back
Alternatively she can discuss the issue using Family mediation - but there is no requirement to do so unless he sets it up
Your daughter is within her rights to refuse
Please ask if you need more details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you so much for your help. This is exactly what we had hoped your answer would be. He is a bully and at times it verges on to blackmail! My daughter has been frightened of him for a long time and I think your confirmation will help her to deal with this problem. Thank you again.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I hope all is well
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My daughter has advised me that her ex husband refused to bring their child back home last weekend and she ended up collecting her.
I hope she now has the strength to stand up to him.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I did wonder about that.
She should write to him (and keep a copy) a simple and polite letter
She should refer to the court order and remind him that he is expected to return the child home.
She should go on to say that if the child is not returned on the next occasion then future contact will have to be placed on hold until matters can be agreed