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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35044
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My relationship has broken down with the father of my children

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My relationship has broken down with the father of my children (4 and 7). He works away during the week and is only able to see the children at weekends, but at the moment he seems to be demanding them most weekends. I also work full time, and take care of them all week by myself, and the only quality time I have with them is at weekends - we are not married but his name is XXXXX XXXXX birth certificates. How much access is he allowed? surely not every weekend? also I have a feeling he is going to want to take them on holiday abroad soon without me - can I stop him from taking hem out of the country?
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long have you been separated.
What is the longest period he has had the children to date
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

2 days and 1 night (a Saturday night) so the whole weekend, but he doesn't do that every weekend

What pattern of contact do you think would work for the children and you?
Alternate weekends?
two weekends out of three?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I would prefer 2 weekends out of three, but I know he would not agree to that, so every other

There is no standard pattern of contact as every family is different.
Alternate weekends is not unusual - plus half of the school holidays - if that is realistic with his work commitments
It is certainly accepted that BOTH parents need a weekend with the children and that school days are not the same!
You need to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (
If no agreement can be reached then the court may have to make a Child Arrangement Order
You can read more on these sites
Since the longest he has had the children up to now is one night then a trip abroad is unrealistic.
A break in the Uk to start with would be reasonable with a trip abroad the year after if all goes well
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you