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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34886
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hello. At the moment I see my 18 month old son 4 times a week

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Hello. At the moment I see my 18 month old son 4 times a week (1 -1.5 hours monday, wednesday, friday) and all day saturday. My partner and I have been separated for 5 months and this has been the arrangement since then. Now because he is upset when I leave she wants to change saturdays to only a couple of hours. Her solution is to cut the bond we have by stopping me from spending any meaningful time with my son. Constantly popping in and out of her house plus seeing his grandparents on my side would be very difficult (I very much doubt she will stop him from seeing her parents so he doesn't get upset when they leave). What is the average (if there is such a thing) visitation schedule for an 18 month old? in the UK
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Does all the contact take place in his home?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hello Clare. Sorry about my poorly structured scenario I read it after and realised it was a bit ranty. I usually structure my sentences better than that. She told me last night and I'm anxious my time with him is so important to me. I take him to his grandfathers for lunch (that's where I'm living at the moment). I find being at his for prolonged periods difficult as this was the family home. Generally I pick him up 8.30 ish take him here for lunch then we go to the park or zoo for a couple of hours then I take him home for dinner.

Do you have somewhere suitable for overnight contact at all?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

His grandfathers house is a very respectful size (4 large bedrooms) in a very good neighbourhood. I envisage living here for a while until I can buy my own house. He would be able to have his own room here and obviously with the love and support of grandparents. Trouble is he's still breastfeeding. Which in my opinion at this stage is unneccessary but I respect the mothers choice.

How often does he feed - he is after all now 18 months old?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I totally agree! He is actually 19 months next weeekend. Just morning and evenings. I actually put him to bed at his the other night without her breastfeeding. She went out. He was fine.

The fact that he is upset when you leave is perfectly normal and a sign of a well attached child.
The law says that a child is entitled to regular contact with BOTH parents and the courts will enforce this of necessary
There is no set amount of contact as every child and every family is different
There is nothing wrong with your current pattern - but an alternative would be for you to have him alternate weekends - starting from saturday to Sunday but eventually being from Friday to sunday - or even monday
Plus the midweek visits - (possibly building up to overnight contact one or two nights mid week as well - but save that for the future)
What is not acceptable is for her to seek to reduce the contact
You should try and discuss matters with her using Family mediation ( - but if that fails you may need to apply for a Child Arrangement Order
You may find this website useful
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you