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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34903
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have a question,here it goes me and my husband been living

Customer Question

I have a question,here it goes me and my husband been living a very separate life for 4years we get on very well as friends, I have dated out and he is free to do the same,we have two young boys whom we protect and care for jointly we work as a team,but now we are thinking of taking the next step to make it official divorce so we can both be free,we want to remain in the same household and just draw up a contract to decide things about the finance mainly the house and the care of the children,we are 100% sure of what we want as we have lived like this for the past 4years we don't think it should be a problem and we don't want lawyers to be involved much apart from when we make a legal agreement n what to do with children and our assets, I currently pay mortgage for it,and all the bills)the house was bought by his mum as a gift but we have remortgage it since hence am paying for everything)we are very amicable and work as a tight team we have always done that way,and the only problem because we are just like friends we want to be free from the relationship,is this possible to be done by both of us?what will be the problem if any?how does divorce law works in UK?how long it will take for the divorce process to come through?in what condition do judges accept this type of divorces cases when children are involved?The most important thing for both of us is the happiness of our children and equal financial division and protecting what belongs to our children and us incase of new relationship is formed by one of us,
We want to live in the same house until we can afford to get two separate houses close-by so we can share custody of the children with no disruption for their routine and care,with current economic climate selling the house is not an option at all,am prepared to keep paying the bills and mortgage till things improve,
I want to know our position with the divorce law and we want as minimum disruption as possible for everything finance,children care extra....we want everything to be agreed by our own terms with a solicitor input on the contract for finance,house and custody of the children just to make legal for both so there is no disadvantage for any of us in future,we do not the want judges terms or hostile terms on the divorce...
Please can I have advise on this matter
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and have you considered how matters will work if one of you has a new partner?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
The children are 8 and 5
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes we have considered this matter if one of us date, I have actually dated before and he has been as well,there was never a problem we both know we are very good as friends we do our utter most support to each other as well as respect each other we are very open to every aspects of our lives only that we are very good as friends and children comes first for both of us,but with lack of intimacy and closeness its just not working being in a marriage as people from outside think we have air tight marriage but we actually live a very separate lives in separate bedrooms bar the children and financial support to each other is always remained air tight we are both not very money orientated but we do our best for our children lives,our main concern is how we can protect them and care for them with not much disruption,we have both agreed even if we date openly the new relationship will only be introduced to children once we have settled for into two separate household or if that not possible then at least a year into the relationship with new partner
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
To a great extent if you and your spouse are content with the arrangements then the courts are NOT likely to interfere
The easiest immediate ground for divorce would be for one of you to divorce the other for their "Unreasonable Behaviour" - you can agree the allegations between you and process the divorce promptly which will end the marriage.
So far as the finances are concerned you can have a Consent Order drawn up setting out how the proceeds of the sale of the house will be divided between you in due course and that can be sealed by the court
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details