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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35050
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hello, I was wondering if you could help. I am a 43 year old

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Hello, I was wondering if you could help. I am a 43 year old lady and my husband and I have just decided to separate. We have a 10 year old son together (he has been diagnosed with autism) and I have a 14 year daughter from a previous relationship. I work full time. We live in my husband's bungalow and I have a property that my mother is living in. My daughter stays with her nan a lot of the time and my son stays as and when he wants to (childcare etc).
My husband and I reached an agreement about the following:
He would let me stay in the bungalow - please could I clarify with you the length of time I would be allowed to stay? The bungalow has been my home for 15 years and my son's for nearly 11 years. Even though I have a property, it is not my home and myself and my mother could not share the same house. It would mean my mother moving out and I do not know where she would go.
My husband said he would give me up to 8 weeks to get my finances sorted so that I can take over the household bills and he would continue to pay the mortgage.
We agreed that the situation could remain amenable, and I would not want anything financial from his property, and he would not pursue mine.
We have agreed to sell the car, he can pay his father back and my husband said he would share the remaining monies equally.
I have stated that my husband can attend the bungalow as when he needs and I do not wish to get into a legal battle about financial entitlements.
I have also stated that my husband can see the children as much as he wishes, my main concern is to maintain a stable environment and routine for the children.
My husband has very wealthy parents, who have a very large home and who go away to France for a large proportion of time. My husband and I thought that he could stay at his parents home.
He has just returned to say that his father will not let him stay at his parents until my husband has seen a solicitor and an agreement is drawn up for both of us to sign (the conditions of which will incorporate the terms we have discussed as above); his father has said that he cannot stay with them until I have signed this agreement that has been drawn up by the solicitor.
I was wondering if you could help clarify what I should be aware of with all of this. I consider myself to be a very amenable person who would not argue with things, seeking to remain decent and not to financially obliterate anyone. Unfortunately I cannot say the same thing for my in-laws who are adept at complaints, financial juggling (and covering over) and who can be unscrupulous in their intent to take me for absolutely everything I have.
I am quite willing to give everything over. We separated approximatley 18 - 24 months ago where I left the bungalow and rented a property. I worked 50-70 hours per week to pay the rent and the bills without any help. It nearly killed me and I was hoping that in all decency my husband would allow me to stay in the home until my son is older or until I am in a position where I can afford to rent a property. I cannot ask my mother to leave as she would have nowhere to go. I believe it would take about 18 months + for her to get accommodation with the council or housing association.
I am grateful for any advice you can give, I do not have any money at this time to obtain formal consultation with a solicitor.
Thank you for your consideration.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much are the two properties worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgages?
What other assets are there and what income do you each have?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare


Thank you for responding.


My husband earns approximately £23,000 and I have just started a new post and will be earning £30,700.


My property is worth about £100,00 with about £35,000 left to pay on the mortgage. My husbands property is worth between £140,000 and £150,000 with about £70,000 left on the mortgage.


I have a works pension, I work in the NHS and my husband does not have one I think. He will inherit £350,000 from his parents.


I did'nt want to go down the route of splitting everything in half, I was just wondering how long I could stay here?


The idea we both had was that, when I leave the bungalow, he keep his property and I keep mine. I don't want anything financial from him.


Thank you Clare.



Is your mother on a formal tenancy at all?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare


Initially yes, with a long-term tenancy for review every 5 years. I think the last agreement in place was about 2 years ago when I applied for a remortgage for my property. I remortgaged for £36,000-£37,000, I can't remember specifically but in that region.


My mother is supposed to pay rent but she provides childcare for me to work. So the way we all looked at it was one cancels out the other if you know what I mean. So I pay the mortgage on my property, as well as the gas bill, and house insurance.






Is the mortgage a buy to let mortgage - as is there a written tenancy agreement for you mother - if so what is the notice period?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes it was a buy to let mortgage. I think it was 3 months?


I suppose he can force me out of the home if I give my mother 3 months notice then? She would have nowhere to live though.


A solicitor I saw during our last separation said my husband would find it very difficult to find a judge who would be willing to evict myself and my son as it is the family home?





In fact if it was a buy to let mortgage you cannot actually return there until the mortgage terms have been varied - which may take some time!
The priority for the court is the safe and secure housing of your son until he is 18 and on that basis you could certainly remain there until you can legally return to your property - however long this took (or until your son is 18 - whichever is earlier!)
If your mother does have a formal tenancy agreement then you would be required to give the appropriate notice - assuming that the property is in the same school catchment area.
In terms of negotiating the time period remember you are being very generous in terms of agreeing not to seek a capital settlement - so it is not unreasonable to to remain in the property as long as you wish in exchange.
Once an agreement has been reached (possible using Family Mediation) then it can be set out in a Separation Agreement
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you