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Kasare, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1301
Experience:  Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
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My 25 year old son lives at home. I want him to move out. The

Customer Question

My 25 year old son lives at home. I want him to move out. The property that we live in is jointly owned by me and my wife. My wife will not support me or back me in that decision. What are my options to basically throw him out of the house. He has never made any contribution towards his house keeping costs. I am no longer prepared to continue with the present situation. I just want him to move out and leave us in peace.

I would appreciate your advice on the way forward.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Kasare replied 3 years ago.
Hi, thanks for your question, I will assist you with this.

You are in a very difficult situation and not one that is easily resolved by turning to legal measures. This is made more difficult by the fact the other owner of the property does not support your decision. However, you are not alone with this problem - this is happening all over the country - and many parents are in this position.

Obviously you could take the extreme step of having a lawyer prepare a legal notice asking him to leave, failing which you will commence legal proceedings, however, that should be a last resort, and I should advise you that this is not likely to be that successful if your wife does not support your position.

The situation you are in is unenviable and poses many moral questions to the position of parents and when they have to stop supporting their child/children.

First and foremost, you need to present a united front with your wife, or else this situation could destroy your relationship too. You should discuss why it is you want him to leave/why she doesn't want him to leave.

Is he abusive? Is he lazy? Does he simply not contribute and expect you and your wife to cook, clean and pay for him?

Legally, your parental responsibility ended when your son turned 18 and he has no right to remain in the property - the difficulty you face is how to get him out! You could simply ask (although I am sure you will have and he refuses), you could try mediation (again, possibly ineffective if him and your wife don't want him to leave) or commence legal proceedings (as discussed above).

There are other issues that you should consider, such as if you throw him out, where will he live? Even as an adult, if he is not working or not earning much, how will he pay for accommodation.

Perhaps, you and your wife could suggest - if the reason he doesn't wish to leave is financial - offering some financial support in the initial stages to help him get set up. Or assisting him with applying for a council house (if he is eligible) or housing benefits (if eligible).

The other alternative is to let him stay - for a while - but make some ground rules. Prepare a written agreement that you both sign and date.

The agreement can cover things like:

how long will they stay?
will they pay you money?
will they contribute to household bills?
can they have friends visit or to stay overnight?
will you provide any domestic services for them or will they be responsible for their own laundry and meals?
will they be required to share in the cleaning and general upkeep of the home?
can they smoke or drink in the home?
if they break the rules how much notice will you give them to leave?

I am sorry, I cannot provide you with a definitive answer, but I hope I have provided you with sufficient information to consider to move forward.

If you have any further questions, please ask. I may not respond right away as I am not online 24/7, but I will come back to you as soon as I am able.