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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have recently ended an abusive marriage and have a non molestation

Customer Question

I have recently ended an abusive marriage and have a non molestation order against my soon to be ex husband. I would like to move with my children to stay with family in Northern Ireland as he is not adhering to the non molestation order terms. he has however said he can stop me from moving with my kids.
I want to go as I am not comfortable in my home, I jump at every noise and am always checking the doors and windows to make sure they are locked.
He has in the past hurt both of my children although I never reported it through fear, they do not want to go with their father on a Saturday when he has access to them and only go because they don't want to make him angry, they fear he will hurt me or possibly them.
what can I do? I know refuge move women and children away from abusive partners/parents is what I want to do different as I am not going into a hostel I am going to stay with family?
Please any help or advice would be amazing, I would be gone tomorrow if I knew I could do it.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

9 and 5

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
What contact do they actually have - and what contact will you offer?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He sees them every Saturday at the moment for a few hours, they keep asking to come home early though and have told me that they only go with him because they don't want him to get angry. He has hurt them in the past so understandably they are wary, they don't want to see him anymore.

I would have to bring the back over every half term which is roughly every 6 wks, he also has a long weekend every 3 weeks from work during which he could arrange to come over.

If I could i would stop the contact but I don't know how even though my children are scared of him, he has grabbed my son by the back of his neck recently to direct him in a certain way. My son was devastated that and they have told their teachers about things that have happened also.

We need a fresh start, I feel insecure in my own home as does my daughter. She has stress headaches and is unwell a lot with stress related symptoms too

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Have you specifically asked f he would agree?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He has said I can go but the kids can't but he has then spoken to our daughter who has said she wants to go, to which he has apparently said to her if that's what you want

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
To take the children to Northern Ireland you need either their father's consent or an Order from the court.
You should try and discuss the matter with your ex using Family mediation (
If that fails then you can apply to the court for leave to remove the children and you can read more about this here
Given your family position and the history of the matter I would expect you to succeed
Please ask if you need further details