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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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i need a harassment order against my ex ? asap ?? children

Customer Question

i need a harassment order against my ex ?
asap ??
children involved
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Could you explain a little more about the position please?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

If this included as being an answer then we are not going to get very far...

I have separated with the mother of my children and the abuse and use of the children against me is throat slitting, I have tried arranging calls but she is always on the fone telling me I cant speak with my son until ... I have arranged to pick them up tomorrow but she is hell bent on making this difficult.

im not welcome at her house and she isn't welcome at my home but thinks she can attach herself to my arrangement and ties to control me even though we are nothing anymore. so she thinks she is turning up with my boys and I don't want her anywhere near me

In November it will be a year that I've been bending over backwards being good guy and bad ,,, accepting all blame and passing the blame I've done every thing and doesn't matter what i`m the bad one and all i have is where she put me. and she wont even let me recover from that either

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
At the moment we are still at the information gathering stage
How old are the children and what is the current contact pattern
what is she actually doing to harass you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

ive been trying to do what she wants, come get the boys between kina 10-2000 on a Friday and a sat but keeps bullying me as to why I don't have my boys for more than 24hrs ? ... simple because I have to stay at a fiends house for 2 days to see them and is not suitable for children to stay over as he does not have the room, I now live at my new home where she said she was tring to move with me to on a job promo that I took for my family and now im here trying o get on with being separated and visit the boys and give her money that I don't have and she is calling my accommodation to see if io still live there behind my back and demanding and controlling. I want no more to do with her other than the children but she keeps blocking my calls with my eldest THAT SHE set up months ago and blaming me for it. all I want to do is speak civilly with here as I always do to speak with my boys and / or arrange me having them that she has bullied me to do even though I am in another county still waiting for my family

I cant call my son at the arranged time without her being on the fone giving me orders or abuse. he normally answers the fone but she has a habbit of being on there before I get to speak with him telling me I cant talk to him until I have answered her questions. I don't need to answer her questions we are SEPARATED!!

what time I will get the boys and the time I will return them is all we need to do but she will not stop arguing and telling me what I can or cant do when I have the same rights as her over my children.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
How old are the children?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
24-08-09 & 26-02-13
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
So you have the children every Friday to saturday at a friend's house - but there is a dispute about where handover should take place.
Phone contact with the elder child was agreed - but she is using it to abuse you
Your ex wants to talk at you about matters other than the children - you just wish to focus on them
Is that about right?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
That is very right and is using every angle to be very difficult and she says she has had legal advice and it makes me wonder what. Lies she is telling them in order to be like this to me..
I only want to talk with her to arrange picking them up to take to my home for the weekend or dropping them off.
Nothing else.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
At this stage - however tempting it is you do not need a restraining order (although you may do in the future)
Frankly I doubt that she had legal advice - or if she did that she listened to it!
Your approach is excellent - you want to concentrate on your children, have them in circumstances that are suitable to them; avoid allowing them to witness conflict between their parents and pay maintenance.
Your ex apparently simply wishes to continue the rows by spending time with you arguing
Your starting point is to arrange to discuss matters with her using Family mediation so that you can agree a Parenting Plan
Which can be turned into a court order if need be to ensure that there is no further argument about what happens and when.
If this doe snot work then you may need to apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order protecting your contact with the children
If she still harasses you THEN you can report the matter to the police!
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details