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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34897
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have a child with my ex and am now pregnant (via a donor

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I have a child with my ex and am now pregnant (via a donor so no legal father). I want to ensure on my death that both of my children stay together and are looked after my my mother, not my first child only by his father. Can you help?
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the older child and what contact does the father have?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He is 6 on August 14th 2014.

He sees his Dad on a very flexible basis - I try and accommodate him - but on average once a week for about 5 hours. There are big gaps in the this when he is away or busy - sometimes he goes 3 weeks between visits. He has him overnight probably once/twice a month (but from evening one day to morning the next).

Hope that helps.

As a note he took him away for two nights a few months ago and Dexter called crying he wanted to come home on the second night and they return early the next day.

They also had him for two nights last month and on the second night Dexter cried and they called his Godfather - my best friend who sees him 4-5 times a week - to come and get him.

Is the father named on the birth certificate?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes and my son has his last name.
You need to write a Will appointing your chosen carer as the Guardian of your children - and expressing the wish that the children are kept together.
You must however be aware that the elder child's father can apply to have his child live with him and then it will be up to the court to decide what would be best for the children
Other than expressing your wishes in this way there is no other action you can take I am afraid
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I have heard that if I get a sole residency order I can appoint a person to take my PR on my death - therefore meaning my eldest can stay with them?

You can appoint a Guardian whether or not you have an Order saying that the Child lives with you -and I am afraid that the father will always have the right to apply to the court for an Order that the Child lives with him
There is little point in getting an Order at this stage UNLESS your health is at serious risk
Clare and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you