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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35058
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have spilt up from my wife 7 years ago. We are not officially

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I have spilt up from my wife 7 years ago. We are not officially divorced. I get to see my two children (10 & 12) every other weekend from Friday evening about 6pm to Sunday evening 6pm. However a couple of hours before she is due to drop them off on a friday she rings me with an excuse and ends up bringing them to me at 9pm or even 10pm and the same things happens on the Sunday when i have to drop them off. She will call me and ask if I can drop them off at 9pm. During the holidays I also have the children. this summer i have had them from last Friday evening to this Friday evening and a few hours ago she rang me to say that she cannot pick them up, so she will collect them tomorrow morning. I love my children and don't mind having them an extra day or a couple of hours, but there are times when I have plans and she just expects me to drop my plans at short notice. Do you know what can be done about this?
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What reasons does she give?
Could you collect the children from school instead?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
That she is tired or she hasn't fed them their dinner. Today's excuse was that she wanted to go out with her friends and wanted a drink so could not drive to pick them up tonight. Even though we agreed that she would collect them at 4pm. No I can't pick them after school as I finish work at 5pm.If I have the children at a bank holiday weekend she will phone me Sunday afternoon and ask me if I can keep them the Monday as she has planned to go out. Like I said I don't mind having the children but I would prefer if she kept to the agreed dates and times or dropping off and picking up. When I put my foot down and say no then she says you can bring them back to my home but I won't be there. What am I supposed to do?
I assume that having the children with you full time is not possible
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I cannot have them full time as my appt is too small.
Last bank holiday weekend she did the same thing, calling me and asking to keep the children until Tuesday morning and that I should take then home as my daughter has keys to the front door. Reason was because she went on holidays to caravan site with her sister and friends wanted to come back with them the Tuesday morning instead if her just leaving the Monday afternoon.
When I took my 10 year old son to school the teacher told my that she owed dinner money. I was shocked as every month I give her money for the children and separate money for school meals. I paid what she owed and teacher and I agreed that I would pay the dinner money every month directly to the school. I then went to my daughter's school, same things, she wasn't putting money on the meal card, and it was in debit. So I agreed that I would do that every month.
I just want some sort of contract drawn up regarding visitation and the dropping and collecting times. The weekends isbd holidays I'm
Supposed to have the children and for her to agree to this. It's too umseting for the children and myself.
You can certainly negotiate a Parent Plan with your ex using Family mediation ( an indeed you can obtain a Court Order by Consent putting those times in place
HOWEVER there are few sanctions that the court can impose on her if she fails to stick to it
The Court cannot make her be there on time - the only threat they can make is that they will transfer the residence of the children to the more capable and responsible parent - you.
The only strategy I see is that you could allow her to think that you may indeed intend to apply to the court for the Residence Of the children based on her record - with the consequent loss of maintenance and benefits that she would suffer - at the risk of sounding cynical this may cause her to worry about the possibility and to stick to the arrangements more closely
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you