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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34889
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I still live in the same home as my ex although we are separated

Customer Question

I still live in the same home as my ex although we are separated I have parental responsibility. I had agreed to take my daughter on holiday to see her granny in Belfast. Now however with a few days to go she has sent me a list of orders and demands that if I don't respond to favourably for her she will stop my daughter going with me. The demands are her way of controlling and bullying and I am at a loss to what I can do. If I back down to her demands she will continue to try and control me.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child - and what demands are being made?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi my daughter is 7 and the demands are that I guarantee that I will be in her company 24/7 I tell her flights and that I ensure she has contact once each day. I will of course be with my daughter constantly but there is a control element about the request. As I have parental responsibility and no court orders in existence do I have to jump to her tune or can we have a peaceful week without her stopping us going and constant harassment when there. My daughter can't wait to go andmy mum her nanny looking forward to it but she's doing everything she can to destroy ang happiness. My biggest issue is she's got control issues and is telling me what I can do if I don't comply she's threatening me with stopping my daughters holiday ! I have answered all demands apart from flight details as I don't trust that she will have some sort if authorities waiting for me at airport to stop trip right at last minute !
Is that enough.? I'm just sad for my daughter and mum and at a loss at what I can do. I have parental responsibility if that matters !
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
In fact since Northern Ireland is actually a separate legal Jurisdiction neither of you are technically able to take the child there without the agreement of the other parent or an Order from the Court.
In fact the only reasonable request made was for the flight number - it is reasonable for her to not want to worry if there is an accident because she does not know the flight number.
The other requests are indeed controlling - but try to ride them out on this occasion and then when you get back you shoudl arrange to attend Family mediation ( to agree a Parenting Plan so that your ex understands that whilst your daughter is with you then she cannot dictate terms
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details