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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34903
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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i am a step dad to two lovely kids and their mam. they see

Customer Question

i am a step dad to two lovely kids and their mam. they see their dad for a long weekend one in two weekend. Just recently they have been coming back saying stuff he tells them that their mam is a slagand her sister (their auntie) too. also says alot of vulger stuff about them and me. But the main concern is that mason who is 4 (his son) does not want to go back there because of how much he gets hit on the bum and face. there are no bruises on them either of them. Meadow whom is 6 is more wise and seems to accept it but will openly talk about how heavy handed he is!
as a step dad i cant sit by and let this happen, he is not approachable and has been told on many occassions about other stuff but wont sort himself out.
What can i do?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 3 years ago.
I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.
I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.
Thank you!
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Ok, I will wait for your answer.
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 3 years ago.
We will continue to look for a Professional to assist you.
Thank you for your patience,
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Has your step son said anything at school/nursery about his father hitting him?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

no not yet, they are on their school holidays but as soon as we take them back to school we were going to make the teachers aware of the issues and hopefully they will be able to speak to mason and meadow and get them to open up to them too. i am lost on how to deal with this so any help or guidance would be strongly welcomed!

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
The starting point, difficult as it is to accept, is that it is not for you to solve - your role is to support your partner in dealing with her ex - and I do know how hard that is
Your partner needs to arrange to discuss matters with her ex using Family Mediation - making it plain that smacking is not acceptable - and that if it continues then she will have to raise the matter with Social Services.
She should also point out that the children should also not be exposed to his verbal abuse of their mother and other family members
If he refuses to attend mediation (very likely) then the starting point is to wait until they have been at school a few weeks and then your partner should ask the school if they have noticed any issues (better than alerting them from the start).
Your partner should then consider very carefully whether she wishes to involve Social Services - this is a very serious step to take as frankly there is no way of controlling the outcome
The other alternative is to apply to the Court either to alter the existing order - or to make a new order - that means that contact is moved to the safety of a Contact Centre
You of course will be behind her all the way
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details