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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hello.I was with my husband for 10 years. We are both Polish

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Hello. I was with my husband for 10 years. We are both Polish and we got married in Poland. We are separated from 1st November 2013 but we still live at the same address because of financial issues. I'm paying for the half of the house and he is paying for his half. We have got two kids under the age of 5. We separated bank accounts and our limited companies on February 2014. It is not a legal separation, we did not send any documents to the court. I was the person who wanted to finish the marriage because of my husband unreasonable behaviour. During the separation we both had other partners and right now I am in relationship with another man. I do not want to be with my husband anymore and I want to be divorced not just separated. I went to the lawyer at the beginning of the separation and he said that I have to go for mediation first before applying for the divorce and that it is the easiest and the cheapest way to get the divorce. Unfortunately it cost min 2-3 000 £ anyway and it was too expensive for us. I am a flat owner in Poland but my husband has no rights to this flat. We do not have any other goods or savings to share. Children will be under my care. He is paying me child maintenance 700£ a month because he has got very good wages. My questions

1. It was his fault of the breakage of the marriage mostly because of his drinking but I heard that it will be much faster to get the divorce if it will be a no-fault divorce. Is it right? Do I loose any rights if I don't divorce with his fault?

2. Can we still get the divorce if we still live at the same address and we are separated for less than a year? We have got kids together but we both had sexual partners during the separation. Should we say about it in the court if its a no-fault divorce?

3. What should be my first move to get the divorce? Do we have to do that mediations and do I need to go to a lawyer? We cannot afford the high costs of the lawyers. Do you think that in this case the court will accept my divorce petition if I send it myself or is it better to do it with a lawyer?

4. What would be the cost of the divorce if we agree to eveything like child care, child maintenance, there are no goods to share and without showing who's fault was that. How long do I have to wait to get the divorce??

Just hope I do not have to be like 2 years separated to get the divorce..

Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Who owns the property you currently live in?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


We re renting the house and we both are on the contract at the moment.

We don't own any property together.

Each of us have got a car but after the divorce he will just keep his car and I will keep mine. We did not buy the flat in Poland together, I got it from my grandmother and it is on my name. I spoke with a solicitor in Poland and he said that my husband has no rights to it even if I became an owner during our marriage.

When do you expect to physically separate (and do not worry you can divorce before then)
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


I want to physically separate in the next few months. I think it may take 2-5 months. My ex husband has too many expenses right now to move out so I have to wait.

Will your ex co-operate with the divorce?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes he will co-operate if I won't ask for any money from him. Just a child maintenance.

Excellent news.
There is only one ground for divorce - the Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage - but it has to be proved in one of five very distinct ways.
The only two which could be termed "no fault" involve having lives apart for two or five years.
The immediate grounds are Adultery or Unreasonable Behaviour.
The simplest way forward would be for your ex to confirm in writing that he has committed adultery with some one else during the last six months.
You can then use that as the ground for divorce even though you are still in the same house provided you do it immediately.
The other option is to use the Unreasonable Behaviour ground
You can read more about the process here
it takes between four and seven months - and the grounds used have no effect on any financial issues
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


Thanks for your response

1. Is it better to use Unreasonable Behaviour or Adultery?

I was the first person who find another partner during our separation so I do not feel good divorcing because he went with somebody else.

Is it right if I say it was an Adultery on both sides? so its our both fault.

I mean can I say that he had a sexual partner but I'm already seeing somebody else as well or do I have to show that it was his fault?

2. Are there any other divorce costs in the court? I know that court fee is 410£ but are there any other hidden costs??

3. Do I need to go for mediation or can I just sent the divorce petition to the court myself? Do you thnik that in this case I need a lawyer's help?


There is no difference in the grounds - it depends on what you agree between you
Unfortunately only one of you can claim adultery - not both!
The total court costs come to £455 - that is it if both of you co-operate
There is no need to use mediation before you start the divorce - the process is set out on the website I referred you to
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you

1. The adultery took place at the beginning of June 2014 but we are separated from 1st of November 2013. Should I write that separation happened after adultery or before??

Is it still treated as an adultery if we already were not legal separated when it happened?

2. I know I can divorce because of an adultery in the last six months but we are still live under the same roof. The six months time will complete in the beginning of December 2014. Can we still live at the same address by this time?


If he wis willing to agree it simply does not matter.
If you were married at the time he slept with someone else then it was adultery .
Issue the Petition now on the basis of the June Adultery and it will be fine
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you