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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34895
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Thank you for your help in advance i am male and of 43 years

Customer Question

Thank you for your help in advance i am male and of 43 years I have been living with my partner for 12 years we have 2 children ages 4 and 7 We live in my house which I own and pay all mortgage and bills on my own She does work locally as well. The relationship has broken down I have offered my partner to stay in the house with the kids as long as I can still see them. I will continue to pay the mortgage and I will move out as we are 5 mins walk from school close to children's friends etc I will gladly do allot more if it means I can still see them. She has refused and using the children as a weapon and said she will move back up to where her parents are 50 mile away to make it as hard as possible for me to see them Both Children want to stay with me !! Her parents are very frail and cant drive My parents have looked after the children during the summer holidays. I pick them up from school most days  feed them do homework and put them to bed every night.Is there anyway I can stop her moving and destroying the children's lives? I do not believe in sole custody as they should still see their mother but if I end up seeing them only every other weekend it will destroy mine and the children's lives.

What should me next steps be now dialog has failed ?



Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare a
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Are you named on the Birth Certificates?
Do you hope to stay close enough that the children can move easily between you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes we are both named on the birth certificates

The children's names are the same as my surname my partner / ex partner has a different surname

I hope to stay locally yes it is the ex partner who wants to move the children away




Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You both have Parental Responsibility for the children and as such neither of you has the right to simply move with the children without consultation with the other parent.
You should offer to discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (
I have to say that your proposal is very reasonable and means that the children can remain in their current schools
If she will not agree then you can apply for a Child arrangement Order for the children to remain with you in their familiar environment
You can read more here
If you are worried that she may simply up and take the children then you can apply to the court for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent her from changing the school.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

In your opinion with respect to me being there Dad what chance would I have to get a Child arrangement Order for the children to remain with me in their familiar environment?

is it 50 / 50 or less

I know it is like asking 'how long is a piece of string"' but I would just like to know how much preferential treatment their mother gets because she is there mother ?





Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You are right it is an impossible question to answer without knowing a great deal more about you your ex and your children.
However if your ex sticks to her decision to move the I would place your chances as higher than 50/50
Security stability and the status quo are generally the deciding factors - and they would all go in your favour
No guarantees however!