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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34889
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi my name is Gareth, A short while ago myself and my ex girlfriend

Customer Question

Hi my name is Gareth,
A short while ago myself and my ex girlfriend split up when she was 3 months pregnant. She started causing arguments over nothing and repeatedly calling me controlling before finally walking out on me. At first I thought it was her hormones due to her pregnancy but since found out she was raped a year before we met by her Aunties boyfriend. She has been making false allegations of me saying I am planning on kidnapping the baby when it's born and is trying to keep me from seeing my child. I have read several articles about how rape victims can have mental health problems due to their trauma, what I would like if possible is an explanation to why she walked out on me, trying to restrict my access to my child and do I need to be concerned for my child's future welfare because of her mental health. Hope you can help.
Kind regards
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.
I will move this to our family category for you.
For future reference, never get involved with people with a background of making allegations of abuse. If they have done it to others they can do it to you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What other information do you require?
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
When is the baby due?
What have you requested so far?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

The baby is due the middle of november. I have requested via mediation to be invited to the birth, be put on the birth certificate and as i work overseas working 9 weeks away 3 weeks home i have requested to have my child for the full 3 weeks im home. My main concern is the mental health of the babys mother due to her being raped a year ago by her aunties boyfriend and the effect it may have on the babys safety and welfare. Can i legally have her undergo a mental health assessment to deam her fit to be a mother?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I am sorry but you have no right to be at the birth -nor indeed to attend to register the birth - although you can apply to the court to be added to the birth certificate later
I am also afraid that your suggestion for contact is not realistic in terms of the needs of the child.
A new baby requires stability and consistency of care in order to build sound attachments and I am afraid a nine weeks with mum and three weeks with dad system will not be realistic until the child is much much older.
What would be reasonable is to ask for daily or alternate day contact during the three weeks that you are home
It is always best to be realistic in the contact you request as any unrealistic request can be used as "evidence" of your inability to prioritise the needs of the child
I am afraid that you cannot force a Mental Health assessment unless you can show that there is evidence that she is not capable of caring for the child.
If that is what you believe then you should report your concerns to Social Services
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details