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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35087
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi, hope you can give me some advice please.I have 4

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Hi, hope you can give me some advice please. I have 4 children aged 9, 8, 6 and 3 and I divorced my husband 2 years ago on grounds of unreasonable behavior, during the marriage he showed no interest in the children, and I think he is very bitter that I divorced him and knows my Achilles heel is the children, he wanted to have them every weekend after the divorce but I thought that unfair as I wouldn't get a weekend with them so since Oct 2012 he picks them up every other Friday at 6 pm from home, then drops the older ones at school on Monday and brings the 3 year old back home. He also now takes the older 2 to cubs on a Monday pm and collects on a Tues from beavers, he has only started doing this recently and was not interested before and I know understand why as he is trying to put a case together saying he is showing involvement with them in their social lives, which before he would never do. Now he has sent me a threatening letter saying that if i don't let him have them form Sunday to Wednesday each week he will take me to the family court for denying him more access to the children, I really don't think this is a good idea as the children are very happy and relaxed in the routine we have, they can concentrate on school during the weeks and have a weekend with each parent, he has been telling the children this is going to be the new arrangement and it is causing the children undue stress as they are happy as they are. Before he sent me this letter he sent me a text asking a similar thing and I offered him to collect children from school on his Fridays to make it a longer weekend and also that he can have them longer in the holidays, he obviously isn't happy with this thus sending me this threatening letter. I would just like to know where I legally stand on this matter, hope you can help, Lynda

Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Did he accept the offer of collecting them from school?
Does he have extra time in the school holidays?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare,

He did not acknowledge my offer and proceeded to collect them at 6 pm on his weekend,

He has recently bought a 4 bed roomed house, which he lives in with his girl friend, he used to work every hour available but is apparently not working full time any more, he is self employed and owns is his own company, Caterkleen. His girl friend is a part time nurse so together apparently they would be free to have children at the beginning of the week, so if this is the case he would have time in the holiday to have the children. I have always be open to allow him time in the holidays, and he has collected them if he has parties that fall out of his normal weekends. I feel that his girl friend is fuelling this as I hear she is going through a divorce and she sees very little of her own children, and I feel mine are needed as a replacement. I can send you a copy of his letter if that helps.

Many thanks


What he is asking for is neither reasonable nor child centred.
If he wishes to have extra time with the children then you should offer to discuss matters with him using Family mediation and suggest that he has them from School on a Friday until School on a Monday - and for half the school holidays.
Be willing to also offer a night in the week (say Tuesday) - which is a possibility if the matter should go to court.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
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